- Claire Dunphy: The four times I disappointed him, it devastated me. First there was the time I cut off all my hair, when I went to college out of state, I crashed his vintage Jag into a wall.
- [pause]
- Phil Dunphy: That's three.
- Claire Dunphy: Kids, dinner!
- Phil Dunphy: Roller limbo! How low can you go?
- Haley Dunphy: I'm on a roller rink with my family on a Saturday night. I win.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: But I'm going to look stupid.
- Phil Dunphy: Gloria, trust me. As long as you're standing next to me, you will not look stupid.
- Alex Dunphy: Don't throw this in my face someday, but sometimes you can be really smart. Like smart smart.
- Haley Dunphy: Oh, my God. Thanks. And by the way, I'm totally throwing that in your face someday. Are you kidding?
- Cameron Tucker: That's one thing I love about being gay. We can be friends with our exes. We don't get all catty like straight people do.
- Mitchell Pritchett: I'm still friends with Pepper.
- Cameron Tucker: We went out on one date! When are you going to let it go?
- Mitchell Pritchett: When you stop reacting like that.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: Daddy loves Pepper.
- Cameron Tucker: I taught her that.