- Homer Simpson: Do you think we'll last another 25 years?
- Bart Simpson: [Looks at camera] Nothing should.
- Ramona: So you're the maneater Hall and Oates warned us about?
- Homer Simpson: Hall and Oates? What's going on here?
- Ramona: Your wife and my husband have been watching British television together.
- Homer Simpson: [Grabs Ben by the lapels] Serious drama or naughty comedy?
- Marge Simpson: Drama! Drama!
- Homer Simpson: You just dodged a bullet, sugar lips.
- Marge Simpson: He can't remember our wedding anniversary, but he remembers how many pork chops are on the freezer.
- Homer Simpson: [Taking a pork chop from the freezer] Currently, zero.
- Marge Simpson: I bet Homer is in that bar getting hammered.
- [Cut to Homer at Moe's working on the train; Barney accidentally hits his thumb with a hammer]
- Homer Simpson: Ow! All worth it for Marge.
- Homer Simpson: I've been working on the railroad, all the live-long day...
- Marge Simpson: Why are you singing that song?
- Homer Simpson: Because it's on the public domain?
- [first lines]
- Marge Simpson: Our first year as a married couple and we're still in love.
- Homer Simpson: In your face, those who said we couldn't last a year!
- Grampa: I stand by my wedding toast!
- Homer Simpson: I've only had three good ideas in my life: marrying your mother, using a hot-dog as a straw, and taking her on that train ride on our first anniversary.
- Marge Simpson: I just gave all my personal information to this website!
- Selma Bouvier: Now you're gonna be hit on by every loser in town.
- Patty Bouvier: And this town has losers like Mexico has headless corpses.
- Bart Simpson: Mom! Lisa made me break that lamp!
- Lisa Simpson: Mom! Bart is twisting the truth in an Orwellian fashion!
- Marge Simpson: Can't I go a whole day without you two tattling on each other or using obscure references?
- Lisa Simpson: Orwell, obscure? The author of Animal Farm?
- Bart Simpson: Grampa said he was a Commie.
- Marge Simpson: No tattling!