- Kathryn Pinewood: Now you want to rob our children of fun by attacking the Sweetum school lunch program. Literally taking candy away from babies.
- Leslie Knope: Those school lunches are incredibly unhealthy. You somehow convinced the school board that napkins are vegetables.
- Kathryn Pinewood: They're made from plants.
- Chris Traeger: Hello, fellow Pawneeans. As you know, the Founder's Week Festivities kick off tomorrow. One small announcement - due to a tragic misunderstanding, the 'Prettiest Pig Beauty Pageant' has been replaced by a pork rib barbecue competition... oh no.