- It's weeks before Barney and Robin's wedding, and one of the many things they still have to decide is where to live. The one thing Robin insists is that they don't live at Barney's apartment. So it goes on the market. However, Barney doesn't want to sell it to just anyone, but someone who is worthy of what was and will always be in his heart his "Fortress of Barnitude". Robin has a slightly different idea, which isn't as easy to achieve as she would like when she and others learn more and more about with what Barney has equipped his apartment. Meanwhile, Lily hasn't spent much time of late with her family because of her job with The Captain. She seems to be at his beck and call, and doesn't seem to mind. Marshall understands, until it affects a planned evening out. So, Marshall decides to cheat on Lily with someone who Lily knows.—Huggo
- Robin asks Barney where they should live after the wedding. Barney said they are going to live in his apartment, but Robin refuses because he has bedded countless women there. The bed itself is mounted on train tracks and when a girl wants to spend the night, Barney pulls a lever that pulls the bed into the back wall, while a new bed emerges from the floor underneath. Barney agrees to find a new place, but also wants the apartment to go to someone who will appreciate it. Ted rejects Barney's offer to take up the "Fortress of Barnitude" which would then become the "Fortress of Soli-Ted". Ted says that he wouldn't stay at the apartment even if Barney sanitized it with Purell and holy water. Barney tells Robin that he could not find anyone to take the apartment.
Robin arranges for an open house and Barney explains the features while recounting his sexual escapades. He has a digital welcome mat that can calculate the body mass index of anyone who stands on it, that allows Barney to get rid of the Chubbies. He also has a digitally controlled view outside of his balcony, which he uses to pretend that he has flown the women to somewhere exotic in the world. He has an oven which opens into an escape chute that lands behind the apartment building and provide a getaway if the woman is getting clingy after a one-night stand. He has sprinklers that are triggered by the words "I am looking for a deeper commitment", "I am too tired", "I am a week late" and "Lets snuggle". Robin accuses him of trying to scare off potential buyers, which he denies. Despite his efforts a couple declares that they want the apartment.
Marshall is growing frustrated that Lily's new job as the Captain's art consultant is stopping them from spending time with each other and Marvin. The Captain has Lily on the phone all the time and wants her to visit new up and coming artists all over the city at short notice, leaving her no time to plan her day with Marshall and Marvin. Lily is also working as hard as she can as she wants to impress her new employer. Ted convinces Marshall to break his promise not to watch Woodworthy Manor, a British drama without Lily. When Lily arrives late to Robin's open house, she finds that Marshall and Ted are posing as a gay British couple with Marvin as their child to help encourage potential buyers.
While maintaining his gay persona, people mistake his argument with Lily as her scolding him for being a gay man. Lily is shamed for thinking that gay people only get married to prove a point, and that being gay is a choice. When Lily teases Marshall about his losing football team, Marshall retorts by saying that he watched Woodworthy Manor with Ted, without Lily. The ruse falls apart when Ted is caught making out with a woman.
At the bar, Marshall scolds Lily for abandoning him. When Lily receives a call from the Captain about another assignment, she asks to put it on hold for now to reconcile with Marshall.
Barney agrees to sell the apartment because he wants Robin to be happy. She reveals she rejected the couple after learning they were going to tear the place down and rebuild it because she loves him.
The woman Ted met at the open house leads Ted away, claiming she will show how it's like to be with a woman. The gang gathers at Barney's apartment to watch another Woodworthy Manor episode, but Robin and Barney use a secret chute in the kitchen to escape.
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