The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Closure Alternative (2013)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : Sheldon, you big weirdo. I want you to know that I love you're in my life.

  Sheldon Cooper : [On the floor in ecstasy after undoing all of Amy's closure avoidance therapy]  And I love you, too!

• Penny : I feel sorry for whoever gets that phone call.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Don't be. If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds, they wouldn't have started a SyFy Channel.

• Penny : Sheldon, there are two dumplings left; do you want 'em?

  Sheldon Cooper : Dumplings! Don't you understand what's going on here?

  Penny : As a rule, no.

• [first lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh dear! Penny, have you been recording shows on our DVR again?

  Penny : No.

  Sheldon Cooper : Answer honestly; this is not a trial. That'll come later.

  Penny : Absolutely not.

  [quietly to Leonard] 

  Penny : Help me out here; I can't afford another demerit.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, maybe we were hacked. You know, the Chinese have been hacking everything lately.

  Sheldon Cooper : Why would the Chinese make our DVR record 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know... It's a fat guy on a Segway; that's funny everywhere.

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm deleting it.

  Penny : Well, hang on! Maybe the Chinese haven't finished watching it yet.

• Penny : So I was thinking about how excited you get about stuff like Buffy or science or which TV remote you and Sheldon should buy.

  Leonard Hofstadter : The Hominy one was fine. We didn't need to upgrade to the 1100 which he knows is too big for my hand.

  Penny : You see that's the kind of passion I didn't think I had. But then I realize I'm passionate about you.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Ahh, my cute little tushie strikes again.

  Penny : Well I'm serious .Look I always had these plans to be in the movies, to live this glamorous life and anything else in my life just wasn't worth getting excited about.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Well, those things can still happen.

  Penny : Oh, obviously it's going to happen. A psychic at a bachelorette party told me so. Anyway what I meant was I shouldn't wait. You know, I got you. I got Sheldon. These wonderful friends. My life is exciting right now.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Big deal.

  Penny : It is, isn't it?

  Leonard Hofstadter : So does that mean we get to do stuff like talk about cool shows or get dressed up in matching costumes and then go to Comic Con.

  Penny : Leonard, I had an epiphany; not a stroke.

• Penny : [about Buffy the Vampire Slayer]  It reminded me of my high school, except instead of vampires we had meth-heads. But both came out at night and had messed up teeth.

• Penny : [discussing a film]  It was fun. It kind of reminded me of my high school. But instead of vampires, we had meth-heads. Ahem. But both came out at night and had messed up teeth.

  Leonard Hofstadter : All right, cool. I think you'll like the next one better. All the cheerleaders are suffering from an evil curse.

  Penny : Well, that's like my high school too. But instead of a curse, it was crabs. Heh.

• Penny : I've got you. I've got Sheldon. All these wonderful friends. My life is exciting right now.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's a big deal.

  Penny : It is, isn't it?

  Leonard Hofstadter : So, does that mean we get to do stuff like talk about cool shows or get dressed up in matching costumes and go to Comic-con?

  Penny : Leonard, I had an epiphany, not a stroke