- Carlos Garcia: Okay, focus. How do I kiss Dara?
- James Diamond: Ah, isn't it obvious, Prince Not-So-Charming?
- Kendall Knight: Well, yeah, you find her glass slipper, don't eat the apple though, make sure you have her home before midnight, and bippity-boppity-boo, evil stepmother spell broken.
- Carlos Garcia: Good plan! Let's go!
- Kendall Knight: What? I was kidding
- James Diamond: All I'm sayin' is that if we had our own show, it wouldn't be filled with random gags and cartoony sound effects.
- [a spear flies before James, just missing his chest, and hits the wall with a cartoony boing sound]
- Kendall Knight: AND we wouldn't use costumes just to get a cheap laugh.
- [the boys enter the elevator, suddenly out of their street clothes and in to costumes of a cowboy, an astronaut, a woman, and Abraham Lincoln]
- James Diamond: It's not our style.
- Kendall Knight: Dumb.
- [Gustavo enters the writer's room]
- Writer: Can I help you?
- Kendall Knight: Yes, hello. I am the producer of Big Time Rush, and this script makes James look self-centered, Carlos look like an idiot, Logan look like a science nerd, and Kendall look like some guy who's always giving pep talks.
- Kelly Wainwright: Yeah, who would watch that?
- Dara's Stepmother: Listen here, loverboy, yeah, I thought I told you to stay away from Dara.
- Kendall Knight: [pointing to Carlos] Oh, actually he's the loverboy.
- Dara's Stepmother: [paying no heed] I'm not just Dara's stepmom. I'm also her manager; and, according to her last post to her fourteen million fans, I'm her total bestie, and if I decide to let her have a boyfriend or use her kiss chip, it will be on a boy named Bieber or Lautner, not you.
- Kendall Knight: Oh, tell me that isn't a love note.
- Carlos Garcia: It's not. It's a love PLANE.
- Kendall Knight: It's too risky; and, besides, you stink at paper airplanes.
- Carlos Garcia: But love is my co-pilot.
- Gustavo Rocque: Dogs, I have some big news.
- Kendall Knight: Please tell us it's not another cameo.
- Gustavo Rocque: I HATE ALL OF YOU!
- Assistant Director: Okay, let's shoot the dance scene!
- [sounding suspiciously like "Okay, let's shoot the damn thing"]