- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: [after seeing Manny off] What if he doesn't come back?
- Jay Pritchett: Oh, honey, no one leaves home and doesn't come back.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: I did.
- Phil Dunphy: Sometimes I don't know if I love how much I fear her, or if I fear how much I love her.
- Cameron Tucker: As of today, it is legal for a man to marry another man.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: [as Joe spits up] Eew, he threw up!
- Jay Pritchett: He just needs time to get used to the idea, honey.
- Jay Pritchett: [after learning that both Mitchell and Cameron have conflicting plans to propose to each other] This is what happens when they let men marry men.
- [Joe throws up]
- Jay Pritchett: That cannot be a coincidence!
- Jay Pritchett: I told you to pack one bag.
- Manny Delgado: I need variety, Jay.
- Jay Pritchett: Colombia isn't one of your more formal countries. The guy in their money is sitting on a lounge chair.