- Sideshow Mel: My childhood has been unruined!
- [Deputy and all the FBI officers are arrived at the Simpsons house]
- Deputy Director Gratman: [angrily] Listen up, seat meat! You are all in violation of the Title 17 of the U.S. Copyright Code!
- [everyone gasps]
- Chief Wiggums: Easy there, hotshot. All the people are doing is watching a movie!
- [Deputy Director Gratman grabs Chief Wiggum's arm]
- Chief Wiggums: Ow, ow, ow, ow! I'm not wearing an undershirt and my badge is poking into my skin.
- Marge Simpson: What's going on here? Is there a fondler in the neighborhood?
- Deputy Director Gratman: I'm here to arrest and hopefully stage the prison suicide of the mastermind of this operation: Homer Simpson!
- Homer Simpson: Ooh, mastermind.
- Deputy Director Gratman: We got our man, thanks to a tip from a heroic American snitch.
- Homer Simpson: [gasps] One of you turned me in? Who was it?
- [sees Marge Simpson, she groans]
- Homer Simpson: YOU!
- [comes to him, grabs him, angrily]
- Homer Simpson: Superintendent Chalmers! You never forgave me for that time we wore the same Hawaiian shirt to that luau!
- [the FBI officers grabs Homer Simpson]
- Lisa Simpson: They're gonna take dad! We gotta do something!
- Bart Simpson: I'm on it!
- [Continues the movie]
- FBI Troop #1: [Screams] COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!
- FBI Troop #2: DON'T LOOK AT IT!
- FBI Officer: Someone sell me a ticket!
- Deputy Director Gratman: Ear plugs in, Blinders on! We trained for this!
- [gunshots Homer's computer and as he grabs Homer from climbing over the fence]
- Deputy Director Gratman: From now on, the place you'll be watching movies without having to buy a ticket is jail.
- [the FBI officers grab Homer Simpson to the FBI car]
- Homer Simpson: [to Marge] Baby, promise me you'll find out who turned me in... It's probably someone I would never suspect. Never suspect... Your moans of sympathy are all I have... Whoever did this to me will be haunted by unbearable guilt forever! Forever!