Game of Thrones (TV Series)

Mockingbird (2014)

Peter Dinklage: Tyrion Lannister

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Quotes 

• Oberyn Martell : We met, you and I. Many years ago.

  Tyrion Lannister : I think I would have remembered that.

  Oberyn Martell : Unlikely. You had just been born. Our father brought me and my sister Elia with him on a visit to Casterly Rock. My first time away from Dorne. I didn't like anything about the Rock. Not the food, not the weather, not your accents. Nothing. But the biggest disappointment, you.

  Tyrion Lannister : You and my family have more in common than you might admit.

  Oberyn Martell : The whole way from Dorne all anyone talked about was the monster that had been born to Tywin Lannister. A head twice the size of his body, a tail between his legs, claws, one red eye, the privates of both a girl and a boy.

  Tyrion Lannister : That would have made things so much easier.

  Oberyn Martell : When we met your sister, she promised she would show you to us. Every day we would ask. Every day she would say, "Soon." Then she and your brother took us to your nursery and... she unveiled the freak. Your head was a bit large. Your arms and legs were a bit small, but no claw. No red eye. No tail between your legs. Just a tiny pink cock. We didn't try to hide our disappointment. "That's not a monster," I told Cersei, "that's just a baby." And she said, "He killed my mother." And she pinched your little cock so hard, I thought she might pull it off. Until your brother made her stop. "It doesn't matter," she told us. "Everyone says he will die soon, I hope they are right; he should not have lived this long."

  Tyrion Lannister : [tears welling]  Well... sooner or later, Cersei always gets what she wants.

  Oberyn Martell : And what about what I want? Justice for my sister and her children.

  Tyrion Lannister : If you want justice, you've come to the wrong place.

  Oberyn Martell : I disagree. I've come to the perfect place. I want to bring those who have wronged me to justice, and all those who have wronged me are right here. I will begin with Ser Gregor Clegane, who killed my sister's children and then raped her with their blood still on his hands before killing her, too. I will be your champion.

• Bronn : My lonesome bachelor days are over. I'm to wed Lollys Stokeworth.

  Tyrion Lannister : Lollys Stokeworth? She doesn't strike me as your sort of girl.

  Bronn : I wouldn't say I had a single sort of girl.

  Tyrion Lannister : She's dim-witted.

  Bronn : If I wanted wits, I'd marry you.

  Tyrion Lannister : When my sister arranged this love match, did she mention that Lollys has an older sister?

  Bronn : Falyse. Aye, I did know about the older sister.

  Tyrion Lannister : And you understand the rules of inheritance?

  Bronn : Falyse is 40 and barren.

  Tyrion Lannister : She still gets Castle Stokeworth when her father dies.

  Bronn : She does. Unless she happens to perish before her father. Then Lollys gets the castle. What? Ladies fall from their horses and snap their pretty necks all the time.

  Tyrion Lannister : You and my sister deserve each other. Why did you bother to come here?

  Bronn : You once said if anyone ever asked me to sell you out, you'd double their price.

  Tyrion Lannister : Is it two wives you want or two castles?

  Bronn : One of each will do. But if you want me to kill the Mountain for you, it'd better be a damn big castle.

  Tyrion Lannister : I'm a bit short on castles at the moment, but I can offer you gold and gratitude.

  Bronn : I have gold. What can I buy with gratitude?

  Tyrion Lannister : You might be surprised. A Lannister always pays his debts.

  Bronn : You're sister's a Lannister, too.

  Tyrion Lannister : My wife is heir to Winterfell. If I emerge from this with my head still on my shoulders, I may one day rule the North in her name. I could carve you out a big piece of it.

  Bronn : If and may and could. It's bloody cold up north. Lollys is soft and warm, and close. If I gave you the choice between fucking Lollys and fighting the Mountain, you'd have your britches down and your cock out before I could blink.

  Tyrion Lannister : Does he frighten you so much?

  Bronn : I'd be a bloody fool if he didn't frighten me. He's freakish big and freakish strong. And quicker than you'd expect for a man of that size. Maybe I could take him, dance around until he's so tired of hacking at me, he dropped his sword, get him off his feet somehow. But one misstep...

  [Bronn snaps his fingers] 

  Bronn : ...and I'm dead. Why should I risk it?

  Tyrion Lannister : Because you're my friend.

  Bronn : Aye, you're my friend. And when have you ever risked your life for me?

  [pause] 

  Bronn : I like you, pampered little shit that you are. I just like myself more.

  Tyrion Lannister : I understand.

  Bronn : I'm sorry it has to be this way.

  Tyrion Lannister : Why are you sorry? Because you're an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart? That's what I liked about you in the first place.

  Bronn : [shakes Tyrion's hand]  We had some good days together.

  Tyrion Lannister : Yes, we did.

  [Bronn walks to the cell door and knocks, then looks back at Tyrion] 

  Bronn : What will you do?

  Tyrion Lannister : I suppose I'll have to kill the Mountain myself. Won't that make for a great song?

  [the cell door opens] 

  Bronn : I hope to hear them sing it one day.

  [Bronn leaves] 

• [first lines] 

  Jaime Lannister : I made a deal for you to keep your ungrateful head on your ungrateful neck a little while longer.

  Tyrion Lannister : I'm sorry, what am I grateful for? The opportunity to live and die at the wall as punishment for a crime I did not commit?

  Jaime Lannister : You threw your life away. You threw it away! It's not a joke. You understand that, don't you?

  Tyrion Lannister : Of course it's a joke, just not a very funny one. I couldn't... I couldn't listen to her, standing there, telling her lies. I couldn't do it!

  Jaime Lannister : You fell in love with a whore.

  Tyrion Lannister : Yes, I fell in love with a whore. And I was stupid enough to think that she had fallen in love with me. That deal you made, it was everything Father wanted. You do see that? He gets you back as his heir. The future lord of the Rock. And he ships me off to Castle Black, out of sight at last. All so perfect. It felt good to take that from him. He knows I'm innocent and he's willing to sacrifice me anyway.

  Jaime Lannister : He's willing to sacrifice any of us.

  Tyrion Lannister : Not you! You're the golden son! You could kill a king, lose a hand, fuck your own sister, you'll always be the golden son.

  Jaime Lannister : Careful. I'm the last friend you've got.

  Tyrion Lannister : At least I got to tell them what they really are.

  Jaime Lannister : [with irony]  Yes, brilliant speech. They'll be talking about it for days to come. I thought you were a realist. Didn't realize you would die for pride.

• Tyrion Lannister : Who does Cercei plan on naming as a champion? I hope It's Ser Meryn Trent. I'd enjoy watching Bronn disembowel that pompous child beater.