Family Guy (TV Series)

The Simpsons Guy (2014)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Roger the Alien, Kool-Aid Man

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brian Griffin : Ah, I guess we're in a town called Springfield.

  Stewie Griffin : Springfield, eh, which state?

  Brian Griffin : I can't imagine we are allowed to say.

• Peter Griffin : [Homer strangles Peter]  Ow, what the hell? That really hurts.

  Homer Simpson : No, it doesn't. I do it to my son all the time.

  Peter Griffin : You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time.

  Homer Simpson : That's *your* son!

• Peter Griffin : [soaring across Springfield Gorge in a UFO]  We're gonna make it!

  Homer Simpson : Trust me, we're not.

• Lois Griffin : Oh, this Springfield place looks nice. We should visit here again.

  Brian Griffin : I dunno, Lois. This seems like a one-shot deal.

• Peter Griffin : [after Homer drinks some Pawtucket Patriot Ale]  That's pretty good, right?

  Homer Simpson : No.

  Peter Griffin : Huh?

  Homer Simpson : It's not good. This beer tastes exactly like Duff. It's just a lousy ripoff!

  Peter Griffin : Hey, whoa whoa whoa! It's not a ripoff of Duff! It may have been inspired by Duff, but I... I like to think it goes in a different direction.

  Homer Simpson : No, this is just the same as Duff, but, like, worse.

  Peter Griffin : Hey, come on, now, this is my favorite beer you're talkin' about. Hell, I work for the company. It's my livelihood.

  Moe Szyslak : [snatches the bottle of beer]  Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood is based on fraud. Look at this!

  [rips the Pawtucket Patriot Ale off the label revealing a Duff label] 

  Moe Szyslak : Huh?

  Homer Simpson : [gasps]  It is Duff!

  [to Peter] 

  Homer Simpson : Your beer is in big trouble! You can't just slap a new label on something and call it your own!

  Peter Griffin : Well, maybe Duff should be in trouble for... You know, not being that great.

• Brian Griffin : Peter, you should see this. Your dishwasher cartoon has really outraged the online community.

  Peter Griffin : What? Gosh, it's not like the internet to go crazy about something small and stupid.

• Glenn Quagmire : Do you like sex?

  Lenny : Meh.

  Glenn Quagmire : I don't think we're very similar.

• Meg Griffin : I MATTER!

  Peter Griffin : Shut up, Meg, you don't matter!

• Homer Simpson : If we're gonna find your car, we've got to think like a car. So let's fill up at that gas station.

  [a few moments later, they're both woozy from drinking gasoline] 

  Peter Griffin : I feel sick.

  Homer Simpson : Keep drinking. I prepaid forty bucks.

• Stewie Griffin : [doing a prank phone call]  Hey, Moe. Your sister is being raped!

• Chris Griffin : Dad, how long until we can go back home?

  Peter Griffin : Um, I don't know. How long do women hold grudges? Not very long, I'm guessing.

• Homer Simpson : [End of 'chicken fight' and ready to drop a boulder on Peter's head]  Say 'hello' to Maude Flanders.

  Peter Griffin : [notices UFO is dislodging and going to fall on Homer]  No. You say 'hello' to Muriel Goldman.

  Homer Simpson : Who?

  [UFO falls and smashes Homer into the ground. Peter walks into the sunset through Springfield Gorge] 

• Stewie Griffin : He's like something out of Mark Twain.

  Brian Griffin : Whose real name was Samuel Clemens.

  Stewie Griffin : How... how does that further this conversation?

• Peter Griffin : [gloating]  It appears that now I am the only one with radioactive powers, which will allow me to -

  [loses powers] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, I talked too long!

• Stewie Griffin : I know Apu's not your enemy, I just wanted to say, "I took Apu."

  Bart Simpson : [giggless]  That IS funny - but the rest of this is messed up, man!