Brad Jones: Cinema Snob

Quotes 

• Cinema Snob : This scene is interesting because it implies that Jason learned the name of the woman who killed his mom and tracked her down in a completely different city, proving that even Jason Vorhees occasionally needs help from the White Pages.

• [as Vicki notices it's starting to rain in a clip] 

  Cinema Snob : While you're searching for more clothes, God is crying about this horrible atrocity you have put on screen.

• Cinema Snob : By the way, according to this story, this is five years after the first film, which, according to "Part 4", took place in 1979, making this 1984. Heh heh, you just gotta roll with it. If you think too hard about the dates in these films, then "Jason X" is hardly the first one to be science fiction.

• Cinema Snob : [On the sex scene]  There you go, MPAA. This one's for you.

  [Jason impales the couple having sex] 

  Cinema Snob : Funny how that scene was trimmed quite heavily to avoid an X rating

  [reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out the Part 2 VHS tape] 

  Cinema Snob : but a still shot of the scene appears on the back of the box. Do you hear that? It's too much for paying audience to see but perfectly okay for the back of the box that everyone can see!

• Mark (Tom McBride) : What do you want to play for?

  Vickie (Lauren-Marie Taylor) : [seductively]  Position.

  Cinema Snob : [scoffs]  Okay, there's signals and then there's "Hey, look over there! That girl with her legs spread-eagle is totally into you."

• Cinema Snob : Alice spends most of her time drawing covers for Stephen King's Firestarter.

• Cinema Snob : Boy, Crystal lake has grown since the last time we saw it. I hear their Exxon now has a Donkey Kong 3... that not many people are playing.

• Paul (John Furey) : Among other things, this is bear country and contrary to what everybody hears, bears are dangerous.

  Cinema Snob : Okay... why has Jason never fought a bear? Just throwing that out there - it took Lucio Fulci *one movie* to put a shark together with a zombie.

• Paul (John Furey) : I don't want to scare anyone but I am going to give it to you straight about Jason.

  Cinema Snob : He was never intended as the killer but they needed a sequel.

• [Crazy Ralph is garroted while spying on the campers] 

  Cinema Snob : That's what you get for not taking your own damn advice!

• Mark (Tom McBride) : Motorcycle accident. Paralysed my legs.

  Vickie (Lauren-Marie Taylor) : Is it permanent?

  Mark (Tom McBride) : Doctor thinks so. I don't.

  Cinema Snob : But doctors tell me that the only cure is a machete to the face.

• Cinema Snob : She decides to sexi-fy this scene by putting on a much heavier sweater and poop-brown undies. Ooo-hoo, itchy.

• [Ginny kicks Jason in the crotch, he goes down] 

  Cinema Snob : It's funny seeing the early days when Jason actually had some feeling in between his legs.

• [Commenting on the Betsy Palmer cameo via Jason's hallucination] 

  Cinema Snob : If Betsy Palmer did the first one because she needed a new car, was this one done because she needed new brake-pads?

• [Jason's face is revealed] 

  Cinema Snob : Holy Jeez, he was John Belushi all along?