- Crowley: [snarls] You betrayed me? No one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with.
- Sam Winchester: I see. I got it.
- [talking to Ezra, an angel they're questioning]
- Sam Winchester: So, you heard a rumor about Metatron's secret portal
- [using air quotes]
- Sam Winchester: and you decided to run with it.
- Ezra: It's not a rumor. He showed me.
- Dean Winchester: Oh. I get it. He's a fan.
- Sam Winchester: A fan. Yeah.
- Dean Winchester: You're a fan! Look, just cuz you're hot for Metatron... or Beiber... or Beckham, just cuz you know everything about them doesn't mean that you actually *know* them.
- Sam Winchester: Or that they even know you exist.
- Dean Winchester: Ohhhh, that's cold, Sammy.
- [smiling]
- Sam Winchester: I'm sayin', man.
- Ezra: I was interviewed personally by Metatron for a key post.
- Sam Winchester: Yeah? Oh wow, well then- then maybe... you can tell me why you weren't at your key post and you were hanging down here instead.
- [long silence]
- Dean Winchester: Mmmm. Well, that blows. He got passed over.
- Sam Winchester: [exaggerated grimace] Yeah.
- Ezra: I was a finalist.
- Sam Winchester: [Expressing false sympathy] Oh, man, to get so close and then get kicked downstairs. It sucks to be you.
- [Dean whistles]
- Sam Winchester: Ughhhh... come on, Crowley! You really, uh, uh, have to hide the blade in a corpse? Not, not with a corpse, but *in* a corpse?
- Dean Winchester: I gotta say, it's not the first place I'd look.
- Angel in Bar: What about Metatron?
- Ezra: Well, uh... He's come to depend on me. So, you know, we're tight. And I have to say, I've come to appreciate the Met-man's vision.
- Angel in Bar: His vision? He threw us all out of Heaven!
- Ezra: No, no, no, no. Big picture. He's giving the place a makeover, bringing back the chosen few, starting with the, uh, chosen chosen few, if you, uh, know what I mean.
- Crowley: I look to you, my trusted advisors, to restore confidence, to soothe those jangled nerves. Spread the word -- the king is back, and the kingdom is once again on sound footing. So, all those with me, say "yo!"
- [There's total silence. Crowley is stunned]
- Abaddon: [Appears behind him] Yo.
- [Crowley turns to glare at her]
- Abaddon: I mean, I'm literally with you, not with you with you.
- Dean Winchester: Maybe your operation's been hacked. You know, Metatron's got somebody on the inside.
- Castiel: I was sure everyone here was loyal. Finally united by a common cause.
- Dean Winchester: Well, that's the problem. See, you don't think anybody's lying. I think everybody's lying. It's a gift.
- Gavin MacLeod: "Why do I hate you"?
- Crowley: I mean, I beat you, starved you, came home drunk, beat you some more, woke up hungover, and, yeah, I beat you. In all fairness, I didn't really have any role models. My mother was a witch!
- Gavin MacLeod: I can't be consorting with a demon!
- Crowley: Not just any demon. I'm the king -- the king of Hell! And there you were, worried the old man wouldn't amount to much.
- Gavin MacLeod: If I was to accept you as my father, you could keep me from eternally burning in hell? No matter my sins?
- Crowley: You're negotiating with me?
- [Proudly]
- Crowley: That's my boy.
- Gavin MacLeod: Holy mother of God! We're amongst the stars! Are we in heaven, then? You must be angels!
- Crowley, Abaddon: Wow.
- Sam Winchester: The lore all says the same thing -- you change any one thing in the past, the ripple effect impacts everything that follows.
- Crowley: Please. No one bends the rules like you two bend the rules. He's one misfit kid. He impacts no one.
- Crowley: Mustn't snivel, Gavin. It might fit the old life. This one could be different.
- Gavin MacLeod: I don't know the first thing about the 21st Century!
- Crowley: You'll be fine. Just avoid cheap whiskey and cheap hookers. Look at me, getting all fatherly.
- Gavin MacLeod: So this is goodbye, then?
- Crowley: Yes. Forever. Unless, of course, I catch you smoking, in which case, I'll smack you stupid.
- Crowley: [after getting in fight with his son] Squirrel. I hope you were nice to your father.
- Dean Winchester: [Confused] What?