Love Me (I) (2014) User Reviews

A fascinating and occasionally frustrating exploration of loneliness

[YouAreNotTheGuy · 7/10 · 28 April 2015]

First off, I have to applaud the bravery of the western men and eastern European women who agreed to be filmed during their search for a partner. It can't have been easy, knowing how they risked appearing to an audience.

That aside, I think the stars of this documentary would be the first to agree that something has gone wrong in their lives that they have resorted to such unorthodox measures. Understanding the desperation and deep loneliness of the men is key to understanding how they can be deceived by both themselves and the morally bankrupt businesses and individuals that exploit that loneliness for their own aims. The documentary-makers sympathetically but astutely expose these issues, through uncompromising filming and pertinent interview questions.

The question the interviewers keep returning to - what is love - is a thought-provoking one that perhaps has no satisfactory answer. I'd suggest that the men asked in the documentary revealed the extent of their disconnection from reality and self-deception with their naive and romantic answers. While viewers may not be able to say what love is by the end of the documentary, I think they'll be more confident in saying what love isn't.

Be careful what you wish for, or in this case pay for.

[picturetaker · 7/10 · 24 April 2015]

This review ABSOLUTELY CONTAINS SPOILERS. Be warned now.

I was intrigued to watch this movie when I saw it listed on netflix. This documentary is about lonely men who would like to find someone to marry and they've taken to finding a mail order bride from the Ukraine online.

These guys are not to be pitied in the way some may pity them because they're legitimately trying to find a wife that will like them. None seem to be sexual predators whatsoever. They spend upwards of $10,000 plus to communicate with these women through a reprehensible dating service that charges a royal fortune just for communication that in some cases is not even legitimate.

Such as one overweight man, a nice guy who spent over $12,000 to talk with a girl who looked like a Russian Angelina Jolie (his words) who may or may not have been talking with 60 other guys paying a fortune also. Likelihood on she was talking to many guys and even more likely the person he was talking to wasn't even the same person as the photo he was shown. He was head over heals in love with her and even went on a tour to meet Ukrainian singles in three Ukrainian cities but held out waiting for her to show. She never did. He cried scam and the dating agency scrambled to get the model to meet him. Something was fishy and eventually he realized he was duped. But hey he said he'll try again...

Another man, this time an old Australian man went as far as married one of these Ukrainian girls in Indonesia after a long period of communication and even came to the Ukraine to court her. He shouldn't have as he was warned by a close friend of the would be bride that she is only using him. He ignored the warning. After the wedding because he was from Australia she had to go home to the Ukraine because of immigration purposes. The man tried to communicate with her after the wedding but she never responded to him. He gets worried and travels to the Ukraine again to meet her to see what is up. After all she is his wife. He meets her, she says no thank you, she walks out. He is devastated. She later tells the documentary she was talking to many guys keeping her options open for the best deal.

A younger fella, falls for a Ukrainian woman, it seems to be going good. He meets her on a tour to meet Ukrainian singles in three Ukrainian cities, he believes a spark happens between him and her. He falls in love. He communicates with her. They "fall in love" and he travels back to the Ukraine to meet her and her family. While he is there a "police officer" comes to arrest her for debt owed. Its $4000 dollars. The young fella says "I don't have $4000 dollars I only have a couple hundred" and the so called police officer accepts that. The young fella smelt something was wrong here, and he left empty handed and I believe he knew he was scammed. My hope is he'll likely find a nice American girl to settle down with and be the happier for it.

One man did marry a Ukrainian. Very tall, pretty and stylish. She even got impregnated by this guy. I hope it works out but I am suspect of her motives. And I suspect I am not the only one.

The entire point of this documentary is that Mail Order Brides aka Russian Love Brides is a complete scam based on LUST not love. While I don't doubt there are very very nice women in the Ukraine and Russia that truly want to be married to a nice respectable guy from the west, there is enough con artists out there to ruin it for everyone. And they do this by promoting the hottest women you can imagine. Girls who if born in North America would be Super Models, Actress, Married to Cartel Dons or Billionaires. Women who would not even give these guys the time of day in America. This is where the scam preys on unsuspecting guys and lures them to dish out thousands of dollars to communicate with them. Their weapon of choice is superficial lust.

My opinion about mail order brides is, be careful, watch this documentary and others like it, before you give your hard earned money away. And remember that you lusting after these beautiful women is what scammers are counting on. So be smart if you pursue a Mail Order Bride.

And to any guy who was in this documentary who might be reading this, I feel for you.

Emotionally immature men try to find "love"

[rinasphotography · 7/10 · 8 May 2015]

What do you get when you mix a group of men with incredibly narrow perspectives about male/female relationships and women from a country filled with poverty and hardship? Mostly disenchantment, depression and bruised egos - but still a very interesting television snack.

Marriages happened but how can real bonding grow from such toxic seed? The most important factor to the men in this search was aesthetic, sexual appeal and that proved to be detrimental to most all of them. The men who felt scammed only found themselves in that position because they allowed superficiality to be their guide. For some reason, for most of these men, they believe that if the woman is attractive that everything else can be overcome. Sexual attraction does not an entire relationship make.

This is just the tip of the ice berg though. Each one of these guys had his own "issues" that made it impossible for them to even select someone compatible for a real marriage. Eric was obviously doing everything he could to prove himself "manly" but he just came across as ignorant and insecure instead. Michael was just a pouty, delusional man-child who refused to take hints or even hear the truth if it didn't fit what he wanted to believe. Ron was in complete denial about aging and was looking for someone to live with him in that impossibility. Bobby kept trying to win a woman who fit the media's beauty ideal (Angelina Jolie) probably because he thought she would be the prize that would be evidence of his elusive self-worth. Poor Travis seemed ready but was just looking for love in all the wrong places - places that would probably require him to literally relocate, reinvent and reestablish himself in order to find a relationship of any kind.

The only man in this group who seemed serious and mature enough for a real relationship was Robert.

In the end, this documentary was less of a window into the Russian Bride phenomena and more a testament to sexism, outdated gender roles and delusional approaches to relationships.

Nice Film

[anatisfairywheel · 15 May 2016]

One reviewer stated that the entire purpose of this film was to expose what a scam the entire "mail order bride" industry was. I completely disagree. I think the point of the movie was to explore and show the different experiences and motives of the men and women using these services, which it did quite well. Some of these men seemed to have unrealistic expectations, looking for a super model type wife even though they themselves were overweight and older, but a couple seemed very genuine and sincere in their search to connect with someone. It was disheartening to see one man who was outright scammed and misled by a woman, and two more who were likely scammed. Two of the couples do get married, and the bond between one of them is quite evident and they seemed very genuine and in love--it was cute to watch them. The nicest thing about this film is that it shows the honest perspectives of both sides and even some of the parents, and it's very nice that it follows the story for quite some time (at least a year, if not more--I didn't keep track) to show how some of the relationships didn't work out while others seemed to get better.

Well edited guilty pleasure

[Eliza383 · 6/10 · 30 July 2020]

I'm writing this because there is only one other user review and clearly that person didn't watch the movie before reviewing it.

While not ground breaking in any way, this doc was light and fun and yet did elicit an emotional investment. There were "good" people and "bad" people and I did want to know what happened to them all. There were happy and sad story lines, and occasionally one person would say or express just one small thing that exposed their soul to you in an unexpected manner (hence my comment about the editing).

If you're curious by nature and looking for a way to pass the time, I'd recommend this.

These Schlubs Couldn't Find Brides ANY-where on the Planet...LOL

[MovieHoliks · 7/10 · 4 June 2015]

The Ukraine...sounds like a great place to go on vacation, see the sights, or....find a bride!?? LOL This new doc. a friend recommended off Netflix profiles a group of middle-aged schlubs that no one in America wants, so they decide to do the next best thing..go to the Ukraine in search of a bride..and guess what?? Hardly anyone there wants them either! LOL

As I was watching this movie, I think it became very obvious what these guys' problem were, especially that Australian dude. That hottie he married even said it at want point- "he doesn't listen to me- he doesn't care about anything I want, etc..." I think he and maybe some of the other blokes in this movie would really just prefer to find a woman who doesn't speak hardly any English so they don't have to communicate with them??

Now some of these guys did have luck. And these Ukrainian women over there..mm-mm- smokin' HAWT! If I had the dough, believe you me, I'd head over there myself! LOL But I think it all comes down to the ol' "grass is greener on the other side" cliché'. Like that scene at the end of the film when the one dude ends up finding someone..here in the states- someone he had dated before AFTER making that big long haul to the Ukraine..?? Oh, and BTW- as for this movie??- definite recommend; really enjoyed this...

Tough Love

[candyjamzusa · 6/10 · 26 August 2020]

So it didn't seem real, genuine the whole set up The men seem sincere about their motives and expectations, but the women did not... Just a feeling... Ohhh, the guy that got married, his kiss, oh no, I don't know, not sexy at all... LOL

So, from a female perspective, I honestly don't think these women were sincere. There was something fake or forced about them. Even the one that was married, I don't know.

Arizona Sunshine

Loved It!

[shelleyn76 · 8/10 · 26 December 2015]

BE WARNED - SPOILERS

This is an excellent exploration of a misunderstood concept. Mail order brides conjures up a lot of stereotypes. This film shows that it's not necessarily what we think it is. It follows 6 men to the Ukraine and shows the very different experiences each man has in trying to find a wife.

Of the six, Bobby was perhaps the saddest. His desperation oozed out of him like pus. It was just palpable and he was, perhaps, the most unrealistic of the group. Ron, while being something of a jerk, was realistic. Robert was my favorite because he seemed to be looking for love and was fine with it if it didn't work out. It did in a big way for him though :)

Michael - he was a creep through and through and so very unrealistic and delusional, it was almost shocking the lack of self-awareness.

The documentary shows both sides of the story - the perspective of the men and the women. It's fascinating and absolutely worth seeing.

An accurate analysis of mail order bride phenomenon

[monomundo · 8/10 · 30 January 2017]

* Includes a mild dose of spoilers *

As a person who used online dating sites to (try to) meet Russian/Ukrainian women, I can relate to most of the experiences shared in the documentary.

I really appreciate the efforts made by the creators of "Love Me" to draw a realistic picture of the "mail order bride" phenomenon.

The documentary was able to capture faithfully the experiences of 6 protagonists (and their female counterparts), following them through 9 months (if I did not count wrong).

The two sites featured in the film are the major ones in the industry.

I am also in the view that the scam/honest women ratio obtained at the end is quite consistent with reality.

Overall, this film is objective, entertaining and much interesting.

An insight into some of the stumbling blocks and benefits of East European dating

[philipb-51614 · 6 April 2016]

So essentially, 2 stories end in success in marriage, 3 in failure of scams and 1 guy with no luck in finding anyone there but a relationship develops back home - however suspect face saver.

It really takes several viewings to realize that pretty much all of those featured both on the mail and female side and perhaps even the agencies involved contain character positives and flaws that perhaps most if not all of us have or at least other ones.

Bobby's experiences highlight the stupidity of using PPL (pay per letter sites) with his $10-12,000 loss and nothing to show for it. While Micheal's experience shows the characters that can lurk on these dating sites for the wrong reasons, frustrating the wishes of men wanting a real serious relationship. Travis's experiences shows the dangers of picking someone up impromptu at random on a tour.

Meanwhile, the two other guys shows that meeting someone on tour can turn out well - though an update on all would be good.

Leaving Ron who seems to be more akin with the American dating scene, not realizing that 'shaking everyone's hand' will not get him far in the East European scene where the woman probably wondered what the hell is he doing. He tends to fall into analyzing the situation to make sense of it rather than getting involved.

The women demonstrate the real wants and needs of legit women wanting family and relationship against scam artists looking for money to support themselves in an economically troubled country - naturally they use what they have, their looks and femininity to help them out.

Main thing to take away, is that these guys are looking for what we all want, a happy life and pitfalls in searching for it can happen, nothing is guaranteed for any of us. So its no real shortcoming that some succeed and some fail it seems just sporadic and random chance.

Fascinating and cringeworthy

[maccas-56367 · 8/10 · 28 July 2020]

This was entertaining. It was a cringeworthy trainwreck I could not look away from.

The level of insanity taking place, was matched by a very real desperation by both sides involved. The documentary followed interesting couples, that were as unique as they were crazy.

The most interesting parts all took place in Ukraine. The addition of translators to these dates added an awkward element. But nothing could be more awkward than that kiss - if you watch, you'll know what I'm talking about.

The sheer money being thrown around in the pursuit of happiness was just as astonishing. I thought the documentary makers did a good job of showing a somewhat balanced story regarding both sides.

This documentary was a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. If you enjoy cringeworthy reality TV shows, or people awkwardly trying to find love - then you'll love this. I certainly feel a lot better about my own love life.

An interesting documentary about mail order brides

[ComedyFan2010 · 9/10 · 13 April 2018]

The movie ended up being more interesting than I thought. I kind of felt bad for all the men and hoping that they will make it. None of them seems to be a bad person but sure has trouble finding someone closer at home. The documentary is really good at following them, their stories and giving us their thoughts.

It is also nice how it shows all the different outcomes that might happen. One simply doesn't meet anyone there. Three get scammed. When it comes to the guy who seemed to love a picture and put too much hope into it I was kind of expecting it to happen. But the other two I felt pretty bad. Especially for the Australian who got married and then she stopped talking to him. Say what you want about him and how he missed clues (we can't really know it as we didn't see their whole communication, just a few minutes), but what kind of a person gets married "to keep the options open"??? Awful woman. And I must say I actually have big respect for him that he tried and that he also confronted her at the end. I hope he found someone in Australia. Just like the other ones who weren't lucky.

It shows us two good outcomes. And those are actually pretty happy. One can see that the women are being genuine. Everything can happen after as well, not all marriages succeed but I hope they succeed here.

So it was a good documentary showing us all sides of this dating business. As it was said the company has no control over the outcome. Just think about local online dating. How many people you meet and get disappointed. How many do you realize are wrong for you after several dates. Doing it internationally makes it even harder since one has less time to see each other in real life. So of course one can expect that it won't all work out.

An interesting documentary

[idleteen-793-799744 · 10/10 · 9 December 2015]

I don't agree with the other reviews of this movie, which tend to focus only on the bad. The movie follows five or six men who've gone to Ukraine to meet women thru international dating agencies. Two or three of them do wind up getting scammed, one decides that Ukrainian women aren't his thing, and two wind up married to their future wives. I was left with the impression that international dating's quite risky. It's risky for the men because some women and agencies will try to scam them out of their money. It's risky for the women because if all goes well and they get engaged, they'll be flying to a country where they don't speak the language and don't know anyone. Either way, to meet with success requires having really good instincts about peoples' character. The two couples who got married do appear to be successful however. Both the men and the women seem like genuinely nice and pleasant people who appreciate one another. In both cases, the woman is way more physically attractive then the man, but doesn't seem to mind. It's an interesting subject. I'm glad i watched this movie.

No documentary

[ersbel · 25 August 2017]

There is no documentary here. There is no drama here. It is only a long advert in favor of one company doing tours in the Western part of what used to be the Soviet Union. And their happy cases. See? If you feel you are better than those guys, surely you will find some tall blond woman ready to serve you.

Contact me with Questions, Comments or Suggestions ryitfork @ bitmail.ch