The Crazy Ones (TV Series)

Sydney, Australia (2013)

Robin Williams: Simon Roberts

Quotes 

• Zach Cropper : [on Australia]  Simon, God knows, if you're hating on something, we want to be right there with you, okay, but they gave us Naomi Watts.

  Simon Roberts : Yeah, but they also gave us The Wiggles, which is only enjoyable if you're high. And what kind of message is that for kids?

• Simon Roberts : I'm ready to pitch them the truth. "Australia: it's so hot not even the Nazis wanted it".

• Simon Roberts : I've only been to Australia once but it was a doozy. It was my last big bender, when I really hit bottom. I don't remember much. It started off as a drink-about with these rugby players, next thing you know, I woke up in a Speedo on a beach in Perth, being pulled into the bush by an Eastern gray kangaroo. An aboriginal woman fought him off and then I was with her for a while, and... There's more but I don't want to bore you.

  Andrew Keanelly : We're not bored!

• Simon Roberts : They want us to lower our standards!

  Sydney Roberts : I once caught you drinking my nail polish remover.

  Simon Roberts : I remember.

• Sydney Roberts : I may have been a little rude to him.

  Lauren Slotsky : It was the ugliest thing I've ever seen. And I spent a summer interning with Japanese whalers.

  Simon Roberts : That's horrible.

  Lauren Slotsky : Tell me about it, none of the credits transferred.

• Simon Roberts : That's a good idea. You go there, you bump into him.

  Sydney Roberts : You want me to go crawling back to my obsessed stalker, whom I just left in tears after telling him to get out of my life forever, and ask him to sell us his song?

  Simon Roberts : That's a better idea. What I was thinking was way more demeaning.

• Sydney Roberts : I really wanna apologize for what I said. You know, sometimes my emotions get the best of me...

  Simon Roberts : It's because of how she was raised.

  Sydney Roberts : Dad!

  Simon Roberts : I take full responsibility. I married a real bitch who set a poor example.

• Sydney Roberts : Wait, what did we agree to?

  Simon Roberts : Well, Danny will give us the song for a reasonable price in exchange for you occasionally blowing him off.

  Zach Cropper : Off. Whoo! I thought that was going in another direction.