Tommy Cooper: Not Like That, Like This (2014 TV Movie)

Gregor Fisher: Miff Ferrie

Quotes 

• Miff Ferrie : You know your problem?

  Tommy Cooper : Wrong agent?

  Miff Ferrie : You've got the funnies. You exhaust yourself being funny off-stage. I mean, you should be boring, like all the others. I mean, look at Tony Hancock. Without an audience he was as funny as cancer.

  Tommy Cooper : He killed himself, you moron. How's that making your point?

• Miff Ferrie : I am fed up covering up for your mistress. Buying hush-hush train tickets, organising passes.

  Tommy Cooper : You should thank Mary. I wouldn't be running round the country earning you money if she wasn't by my side. I'd be out playing golf with Ronnie Corbett.

  Miff Ferrie : [exasperated]  There is a reason why monogamy works, Tommy. It's less tiring.

  Tommy Cooper : I can't give up Mary, Miff. I love her.

  Miff Ferrie : And what about Dove?

  Tommy Cooper : You can love two women.

  Miff Ferrie : Until you get caught!

  Tommy Cooper : No, I mean it. I'm not proud of it. I'm ashamed, but it's true. Dove has been my life - put me on stage, made a man of me. If anyone hurts her or the family, I'll rip their head off.

  Miff Ferrie : [wearily]  Yeah, well that person's going to be you.