How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Bass Player Wanted (2013)

Cristin Milioti: Tracy McConnell

Quotes 

• Tracy McConnell : This is my band. I started it. And if anyone is getting fired here, it's you, Darren. So hit the bricks, s-skunk... junk.

  [to Linus] 

  Tracy McConnell : Is that even a little bit intimidating?

  Linus : Nope, and the knitting's not helping.

  Tracy McConnell : I'm sorry, I just met this baby and he needs a hat.

  Linus : What? You can't fire Darren. He gets how hilarious and adorable I am. Plus it is so inspiring how he overcame his mother being eaten by a barracuda.

  Tracy McConnell : Gah! It's Finding Nemo. That's new. There's no defeating the devil. New plan. Linus, if at any point tonight you see me with an empty glass...

  Linus : Kennedy package. It's a very popular choice this weekend.

  [Hands Tracy her drink] 

  Tracy McConnell : Thank you, Linus.

• Marshall Eriksen : At the reception, I'll yell, "The lead singer sucks skunk junk" after every song. I'll come up with something better than "skunk junk". No, no, "skunk junk" is pretty solid.

  Tracy McConnell : You can't yell that at the lead singer because I don't suck skunk junk.

  [baby Marvin Eriksen is heard to say "skunk junk"] 

  Marshall Eriksen : For the record... his first word was "Mommy".

• Darren : [to Linus]  Hey, can I get some ice? The best man just punched me in the face for no reason!

  [Tracy scoffs] 

  Darren : Oh, that's funny to you? You know what? I quit. You can have your stupid band back. I miss being in a band where people are decent to each other, and there's no drama. I'm going back to the new Guns N' Roses!

  [Storms out] 

  Tracy McConnell : Linus, whoever that best man is, I would like to buy him a double of your finest scotch.