Brian Lewis: Travis Crabtree

Quotes 

• Mrs. Crabtree : [dressed as Starbuck]  Let's get this frakkin' party started.

  Travis Crabtree : [dressed as Officer Rizzoli]  This is BS! I cannot believe you did this to me!

  Mrs. Crabtree : Oh, honey, I think the low-cut top really accentuates the hair in your cleavage.

  Travis Crabtree : It was your idea to dress up as Rizzoli & Isles for the party. Now I'm stuck looking like Angie Harmon all night.

  Mrs. Crabtree : Wasn't my idea, I've never even seen the show! All I said was, "Don't you hate how Halloween sitcom episodes always use the same couples miscommunication costumes joke?"

  Travis Crabtree : Yes! Yes, I do hate that! I watched twelve episodes of Rizzoli & Isles to get into character for this, and for what? Nothing!

  Mrs. Crabtree : So how was the show?

  Travis Crabtree : It was terrible!

• Mrs. Crabtree : Well, we start out with the best one first. Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

  80's Dan : [angry]  Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!

  Mrs. Crabtree : [surprised]  Where'd that anger come from?

  80's Dan : I hate Halloween III...

  Dolly : [confused]  How could you hate Halloween III?

  80's Dan : I'll tell you why. Because it does not feature Michael Myers.

  Travis Crabtree : Oh. Oh, I see what's going on here. See, in the 80's, it was cool *not* to like Halloween III, just because it was an in-name-only sequel. You see, Dan, nowadays, people have recognized it as one of the more underrated horror films of the 80's. We trod it out each and every season.

  80's Dan : [unconvinced]  And let me guess, you also claim that Boogeyman II was robbed of an Oscar?

  Dolly : No. We still hate that one.

• Mrs. Crabtree : Give it another chance, Dan. You might see it as the lost gem that it truly is.

  80's Dan : Never! Stupid movie. Tricking people into thinking they were gonna see Michael Myers, and instead giving us a rejected Outer Limits episode about masks!

  Travis Crabtree : Yeah, I see what you mean, Dan. If only the movie's trailers had correctly identified that it's a separate story from the Myers universe... oh, wait, it did!

  80's Dan : No one watched trailers in the 80's. We were too busy getting handy-J's from the girl peddling Jolt Cola in the lobby.

  Travis Crabtree : If by "we," you mean you. I don't think everybody in the 80's had the same experiences you did.

  80's Dan : Look at the glassy stare in your parents' eyes next time you see them. Trust me. We all snorted from the same mirrors.