Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)

Yes Men (2014)

Clark Gregg: Phil Coulson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phil Coulson : [about Lady Sif]  She's a warrior. I saw her fight in New Mexico with Thor - climbed a giant metal killing machine, speared it with her double-bladed sword. It was pretty badass.

• Skye : I know that face, something gives me a feeling I should be sitting down for this.

  Phil Coulson : I've been looking for a way to tell you this, looking around for some answers, something to help... explain... but I don't have any. So... the drug, the one who saved us both - when we found it, I discovered something else. Its source. It was... alien.

  Skye : A-Alien, as in... unfamiliar?

  Phil Coulson : No.

  Skye : Wow.

  Phil Coulson : The minute I learned what it was, I tried to keep them from injecting you with it, but I was too late. I'm so sorry, Skye.

  Skye : You were trying to save my life. You *did* save my life.

  Phil Coulson : I was desperate to, and I subjected you to unknown ramifications or side effects.

  Skye : I'm sorry to say this, sir, but... so what? We are alive. And you've had that in you, uh, for some time now, and you're okay, right? Plus, you're not sprouting a pointy tail or anything, so bonus there.

  Phil Coulson : I know nothing fazes you, but this should faze you. We are completely in the dark on this.

  Skye : That's where we live. I'm an 0-8-4. Who knows what the hell that means? At least we're in the dark together.

  Phil Coulson : Yes. But not for long. To hell with any protocols or any code I used to bound by. We have a long list of questions we need answers for, and we're going after them ourselves.

  Skye : Well, if the team's up for it...

  Phil Coulson : No. No, listen to me. I trust them, but we need to protect them from this. Fury went to dangerous lengths to keep this under wraps - lied to me, lied to S.H.I.E.L.D. This is a powerful secret, a secret men died for. Until we know why, we can't share this with anyone, for their safety and ours.

  Skye : Got it. So what'll it be, A.C.? What do we go after first?

  Phil Coulson : The person responsible for this. And we make him pay.

• Jasper Sitwell : I don't know where director Fury is. Don't be so shocked. For a quiet guy you make a lot of noise. How many favors have you called in?

  Phil Coulson : Clearly not enough.

  Jasper Sitwell : Something I can help you with?

  [Coulson stays quiet] 

  Jasper Sitwell : Fine, but Fury is a high level agent who is off grid. You don't find him unless he wants to find you. You did something like that once too. Remember? I never asked you. How was Tahiti?

  Phil Coulson : It sucked.

• Jasper Sitwell : You know, usually, when a friend wants a favor, they do something nice - takes me to a nice restaurant, buys me a bottle of wine.

  Phil Coulson : Want to go to a movie, hold hands?

• Lady Sif : Lorelei's treachery has remained unchained, no matter the world.

  Phil Coulson : We'll find them. Every agent is out in the area looking.

  Lady Sif : To what end, hmm? The collar... has been broken. Short of death, we have no means to end her enchantment.

  Phil Coulson : Let me worry about that. Stay here. And try not to punch a hole in my airplane.

• Skye : What can I do? And don't you dare say "nothing" or tell me to sit down here and count ceiling tiles while Ward is missing.

  Phil Coulson : Ward's got drop boxes and storage lockers all over the world. They're filled with currency, weapons, ID's. He's gonna use aliases, cash, anything to keep Lorelei off the radar. You're the best radar we have. Find them.

• Phil Coulson : You've visited other realms, seen different species, aliens. Have you ever encountered any that were blue?

  Lady Sif : Yes, of course.

  Phil Coulson : Which ones?

  Lady Sif : Uh, Interdites, Levians, Pheragots, Kree, Sarks, Centaurians. The Frost giants tried to conquer your Earth a millennia ago, but Asgard drove them away.

  Phil Coulson : Oh. Well, thanks for that.

• Jasper Sitwell : I never asked you, how was Tahiti.

  Phil Coulson : It sucked.