Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

Joey Kern: Tim

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tim : Bam snap!

• Tim : Geez, the vampire that takes a bite out of you is going to be up for a week.

• Janitor : Do you even know my name?

  Evan , Tim : Janitor?

• Evan : You gotta be fucking kidding me. This is my desk now?

  Tim : Well officially its still the photo printer's desk. But you can share it.

• Frank : Today we become men.

  Evan : Or vampires.

  Tim : Or dead.

• Tim : We need to arm ourselves. We need weapons and shit!

  Frank : I was waiting for you to say that.

• Evan : This is going to sound insane, but the entire office has been turned into...

  Janitor : Vampires, yeah.

  Evan : Did everybody know but me?

  Tim : Seems that way.

• Ted : Jesus, god dammit, I know they're vampires.

  Amanda : Uh, wait, wait. what?

  Ted : I track how many paper clips we use per quarter, do you think I wouldn't notice a vampire company takeover?

  Tim : How many paper clips do we use per quarter?

• Tim : You fucker! Take that!

  Dave : You trying to repel me with a cross made of pencils?

• Tim : This is pretty much the grossest thing I've ever seen.

  [Sees Evan and Amanda kissing] 

  Tim : I stand corrected.

• Mike : Honestly I bet dating her is like dating a guy. Who's like a hot chick, that has you know, like a penis.

  Tim : So not a girl?

  Mike : No, still a girl. Did you not listen to what I just said?

  Andrew : Alright.

  Mike : No it's a hot girl with a, with a beautiful penis. But she's still a, she's still a chick! She just has guy parts!

  Andrew : No I get where you're going.

  Mike : It's a feminine penis. Ok, what if it was a guy with a vagina?

  Tim : Eh he makes a good point.