Legend (I) (2015)

Richard Riddell: Mike Jobber

Quotes 

• Mike Jobber : Get someone to clean that fucking toilet, it stinks in there

  Pig & Whistle Barman : I keep telling her, but it's not my fault I can't get her to clean it for me, what are you having?

  Mike Jobber : Um

  Pig & Whistle Barman : [notices the Kray twins walk into the bar]  Never mind, they just walked in

  Reggie Kray : Alright, can I have two Guinesses please?

  Pig & Whistle Barman : Hang on a minute Reg, just gonna go down and change the barrel

  [hides inside the basement anticipating a fight] 

  Mike Jobber : Reg, Ron. The Richardsons were unexpectedly engaged, so we're gonna look after you

  Reggie Kray : Ah, it's alright, the landlord's gonna change the barrel for me. Don't mind if I pour myself a pint, would ya?

  Ronald Kray : [Notices a weapon held by one of the mob]  What is that?

  Mike Jobber : Yeah what do you think, poof? It's a fucking tool

  Ronald Kray : No it's not it's a fucking rolling pin. What are you, Fanny Craddock? What are you doing with that? Gonna bake me a cake? Sing me a song whilst I blow out me fucking candles?

  Ronald Kray : [Lifts jacket, mimicking two guns in his pockets]  I come here for a fucking shootout. A proper shootout with some proper men. Like Colonel Custer and Geronimo, you ever heard of them? No. Cause you're too busy in your pinny baking fucking fairy cakes, weren't ya?

  Ronald Kray : [Turns to Reggie]  Reg. This lot are fucking nonces to a man, they're fucking nonces. Get out of me fucking way, go on, get out, go on, fuck off. Call yourself a fucking gangster.

  Ronald Kray : [Turns round angrily before walking out of the pub in a rage]  A SHOOTOUT, RIGHT, IS A FUCKING SHOOTOUT! Like a western. WANKERS! Fucking embarrassing, waste of my time. FUCKING waste of my time!

  Mike Jobber : Well your brother's done a runner

  Reggie Kray : Nah he's just genuinely disappointed with you, that's all.

• Reggie Kray : [Mike Jobber has informed Reggie Kray that several members of the Richardson gang, including him, have been ordered to "knock the granny" out of Reggie and his brother Ron]  . You won't mind if I fight back, will ya?

  Mike Jobber : If you think you can manage it!

  Reggie Kray : It's more for my pride, you know. I warn you, I'm not gonna fight fair, though. So I brought these.

  [Holds up fists to reveal a pair of "brass knuckles, while Ron, who has left earlier, slowly re-enters holding a hammer in each of his hands] 

  Reggie Kray : .

• Mike Jobber : Charlie Richardson says we're to knock the granny out of you, Reg.

  Reggie Kray : Oh yeah, he did, did he? That's good of him. Right, listen. When you see him next, you tell him from me, yeah? That I say : "Fuck Charlie, right? Fuck his brother, yeah? Fuck that fat poof Cornell that hangs out with him. Fuck your face, yeah, yeah? And fuck the fucking lot of you all! What you think of that, eh? You like that, eh?