Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Goes Outside! (2015)

Sara Chase: Cyndee Pokorny

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Merry Christmas, sisters.

  Cyndee Pokorny : [referring to the Christmas tree]  Just beautiful, Sister Kimmy.

  Kimmy Schmidt : Now which one of you guys have been chosen as my secret Santa?

  Gretchen Chalker : We can't not tell, Sister Kimmy. Then 'twouldn't be a secret. Duh.

  [all laugh] 

  Kimmy Schmidt , Cyndee Pokorny , Gretchen Chalker , Donna Maria Nuñez : [linking hands and singing to the tune of "O Tannenbaum"]  Apocalypse, apocalypse / We caused it with our dumbness.

• Matt Lauer : Cyndee, you were the first young woman forced into this cult.

  Cyndee Pokorny : Yes. I had waited on Reverend Richard a bunch of times at a York steakhouse I worked at. And, one night, he invited me out to his car to see some baby rabbits and I didn't want to be rude so... here we are.

  Matt Lauer : I'm always amazed at what women will do because they're afraid of being rude.

• Cyndee Pokorny : [emerging from the bunker for the first time]  Kimmy, I think we counted wrong. It's not Christmas.

  Kimmy Schmidt : But it's here. It's all still here.

• Cyndee Pokorny : Kimmy, what are you doing?

  Kimmy Schmidt : I'm not going back.

  Cyndee Pokorny : What?

  Kimmy Schmidt : I'm staying here.

  Cyndee Pokorny : Kimmy, that's crazy! You have a middle school education! You won't make it here!

• Kimmy Schmidt : I have to get my life back. Everybody in Durnsville is always gonna look at me like I'm a victim, and that's not what I am.

  Cyndee Pokorny : Well, if you're really gonna do this, take some of my Mole Fund money. I mean, a pop here's like five dollars.