- Yahtzee: I knew this review would be difficult going into it, partly because I skipped all the side-quests and probably missed half the content and partly because I suspect that some of the things I didn't like are the same things that RPG fans find attractive. The first point probably doesn't matter so much unless one of the planets boasts a magical "make the game better" button, but the game's sheer head-crushing depth will probably make up for everything for some people. So what I saying is if you like RPGs and Knights of the Old Republic in particular, then take this review for the ignorant hate speech that it is. But if you don't like RPGs, then Mass Effect isn't going to cause an epiphany.
- Yahtzee: the smartest idea BioWare had was to leak the fact that there's sex in this game. That probably doubled the sales figures right there, because the nerd is a tiresomely predictable creature to whom the promise of boobies is like a bacon sandwich to a starving wolf. For the record, it was the female human I ended up filling with my toothpaste of love, but since her name was Ashley Williams, which I'm pretty sure was the full name of Bruce Campbell's character from the Evil Dead series, it made things rather uncomfortable for me. You only get to see like one second of bare arse, anyway, so it will hardly make your mass erect.
- Yahtzee: People often say to me, "Yahtzee, you callipygian Superman, how can you, a game writer yourself, complain about a game having too much dialogue?" I would reply, "for the same reason that a hairdresser is entitled to complain when someone fills their car with shampoo." The best writing in visual media is succinct and punchy, something a lot of webcomic writers need to understand. Mass Effect is like an incontinent who just drank six bottles of Mountain Dew, so full to bursting with dialogue that it leaks out at every turn. Characters will spout their life stories at the slightest provocation like you've got a documentary crew with you. A mere glance at a computer screen or starship component will dump an entire Reader's Digest into your journal. To the game's credit, you never actually require to read any of this, but not doing so leaves me with the strange feeling that the game somehow resents me for it.