Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV Series)

The Jimmy Jab Games (2014)

Andy Samberg: Jake Peralta

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake Peralta : Sure hope I don't sprain my arm during the race. 'cause I'm gonna be opening up a lot of doors for Katie on our date. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be a gentleman.

  Rosa Diaz : What are you doing, Jake?

  Jake Peralta : Trash talking you. While simultaneously proving that I will be respectful of your friend, it's a tough line to walk.

• Jake Peralta : I don't have feelings for Amy anymore. So, time for me to get out there and spread my wi...

  Charles Boyle : ...legs.

  Jake Peralta : Get out there and spread my legs?

  Charles Boyle : Well, ei- either way...

  Jake Peralta : No! Not either way. Only wings.

• Rosa Diaz : You spent the whole day flirting with Amy.

  Jake Peralta : Yeah, we're joking around because we're friends now that I've moved on.

  Rosa Diaz : Then prove it. Beat Amy and don't flirt with her at all.

  Jake Peralta : Fine, easy. But you better tell Katie to clear out her schedule out Thursday for a date, 'cause I'm working nights until then and the following weekend I am out of town, let's do this.

• Jake Peralta : So... Jimmy Jabs, huh? What do you say we make it interesting this year? Aha! We can play for Katie's number.

  Rosa Diaz : No. Is this why you wanted to do Jimmy Jabs?

  Jake Peralta : No. Yes. Why, what gave it away?

  Rosa Diaz : You said "aha" and snapped your fingers.

• Amy Santiago : Jake and Katie would be awesome together.

  Jake Peralta : I know, right? She's single, I'm single. She's pretty, I'm pretty.

• Amy Santiago : You're out? I'm in the finals?

  Jake Peralta : And all I have to do to get Katie's number is beat Amy? That's nothing.

  Amy Santiago : [smacks his belly] 

  Jake Peralta : Hey! Don't you dare touch Amy Junior! That's right- it's your baby!

  Amy Santiago : You saying I knocked you up?

  Jake Peralta : You sure did!

• Jake Peralta : If you're here for your $200, can I interest you in a check that will definitely bounce?

• Jake Peralta : Guys. Guys, guys, guys. Three hour delay with no Holt or Terry? Do you have any idea what this means?

  Charles Boyle : Make-overs!

• Amy Santiago : I can do this. I wanna win so bad.

  Jake Peralta : Oh great, here. Quick, let me take a picture. Aw, that's so cute. You got a little bit of mold on the tip of your nose.

• Jake Peralta : Pregnant. Nice. Means you had sex.

  Amy Santiago : Damn right, I did. And I forgot my birth control. Yeah! I think the belly will draw attention away from my face.

  Jake Peralta : Smart. Like one big boob.