- Jake Peralta: Sure hope I don't sprain my arm during the race. 'cause I'm gonna be opening up a lot of doors for Katie on our date. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be a gentleman.
- Rosa Diaz: What are you doing, Jake?
- Jake Peralta: Trash talking you. While simultaneously proving that I will be respectful of your friend, it's a tough line to walk.
- Jake Peralta: I don't have feelings for Amy anymore. So, time for me to get out there and spread my wi...
- Charles Boyle: ...legs.
- Jake Peralta: Get out there and spread my legs?
- Charles Boyle: Well, ei- either way...
- Jake Peralta: No! Not either way. Only wings.
- Rosa Diaz: You spent the whole day flirting with Amy.
- Jake Peralta: Yeah, we're joking around because we're friends now that I've moved on.
- Rosa Diaz: Then prove it. Beat Amy and don't flirt with her at all.
- Jake Peralta: Fine, easy. But you better tell Katie to clear out her schedule out Thursday for a date, 'cause I'm working nights until then and the following weekend I am out of town, let's do this.
- Jake Peralta: So... Jimmy Jabs, huh? What do you say we make it interesting this year? Aha! We can play for Katie's number.
- Rosa Diaz: No. Is this why you wanted to do Jimmy Jabs?
- Jake Peralta: No. Yes. Why, what gave it away?
- Rosa Diaz: You said "aha" and snapped your fingers.
- Amy Santiago: Jake and Katie would be awesome together.
- Jake Peralta: I know, right? She's single, I'm single. She's pretty, I'm pretty.
- Amy Santiago: You're out? I'm in the finals?
- Jake Peralta: And all I have to do to get Katie's number is beat Amy? That's nothing.
- Amy Santiago: [smacks his belly]
- Jake Peralta: Hey! Don't you dare touch Amy Junior! That's right- it's your baby!
- Amy Santiago: You saying I knocked you up?
- Jake Peralta: You sure did!
- Jake Peralta: If you're here for your $200, can I interest you in a check that will definitely bounce?
- Jake Peralta: Guys. Guys, guys, guys. Three hour delay with no Holt or Terry? Do you have any idea what this means?
- Charles Boyle: Make-overs!
- Gina Linetti: Aw, Boyle. I love that you're trying to step up your sex game. But strength is not your issue. Stop humming. And it does not turn me on when you bend over and back up into me.
- Amy Santiago: This is my year.
- Scully: It's my year too!
- Amy Santiago: Please don't align yourself with me.
- Amy Santiago: I can do this. I wanna win so bad.
- Jake Peralta: Oh great, here. Quick, let me take a picture. Aw, that's so cute. You got a little bit of mold on the tip of your nose.
- Jake Peralta: Pregnant. Nice. Means you had sex.
- Amy Santiago: Damn right, I did. And I forgot my birth control. Yeah! I think the belly will draw attention away from my face.
- Jake Peralta: Smart. Like one big boob.