- Dean Winchester: This badge means something.
- Sam Winchester: I made it at Kinkos.
- Dean Winchester: Yes you did. Be proud of that.
- Dean Winchester: [on speaker phone] Hey, Jody. How's Alex holding up?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Awesome, already head of the cheerleading squad.
- Sam Winchester: Wow. Really?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: No, Sam, she smokes grass under the bleachers. But at least she's not luring men to their deaths.
- Sam Winchester: Right.
- Sam Winchester: [on phone] All right, well, uh... enjoy the retreat.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Screw you, Winchester.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: Wait so, when we were at the weight loss spa...
- Dean Winchester: Monsters, sucking out your fat. We took care of it.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: Ah jeez. I knew losing ten pounds that fast was too good to be true.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: You okay?
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: Yeah, other than feeling like I wanna hurl. I just chopped off a vampire's head.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: You were great at that.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: [Smiles] Thanks.
- Sam Winchester: You mind distracting her while we poke around?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: You show up, and now I'm a babysitter?
- Dean Winchester: Look, she hasn't gotten mixed up with this crap yet. Let's just try to keep it that way.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: [Scoffs] Fine. But if she tries to show me her sticker collection, I'm out.
- Chaz: [Showing of gun] Officer ladies, check this one out. You can take it to lunch, to the gym, have your nails done. She's always by your side.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: How about this puppy?
- Chaz: Oh. Well, it depends. Think you can handle a big one?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: [Gun cocks] Sigma, right?
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: 10 pounds pull weight. Cute.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Call this a big one? Hope you drive a Porsche.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: [Watching Doug dancing] I used to put the cans in his cart.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Are you really missing much?
- Dean Winchester: All due respect, Sheriff, but vampires are far more dangerous than the Johns you throw in jail. You're gonna sit this one out.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: Stuff you, Dean! Or whatever your real name is.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: [to Doug] What is wrong with you? You get off on fat-shaming chicks?
- [to Donna]
- Sheriff Jody Mills: You are so not fat, by the way.
- [Turns back to Doug]
- Sheriff Jody Mills: And you -- you are just a douche.
- Deputy Brice Graham: You ain't the first feds to roll through here and come up with nothing. Sure is cute to watch you try, though.
- Dean Winchester: Oh, pal, the FBI doesn't do cute.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: So. Fresh corpse, jerk ex-husband, out of control teen. Wanna get blingo'd on my mini-bar and watch pay-per-view?
- Sheriff Doug Kontos: Well, aren't you looking good, huh?
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: I lost 6 pounds.
- Sheriff Doug Kontos: Hey! You're 1/4 of the way there! Hey, uh, you think you could toss me a couple extra meal vouchers? I mean, since you won't be using them?
- Sheriff Doug Kontos: If you're trying to pull the wool over this one, you got the wrong girl. Sheriff Hanscum here is a wolf in sheepskin, right?
- [Laughs]
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: [Forced polite] Thank you. Wolves are majestic creatures.
- Dean Winchester: Agents Criss and Frehley. Looking for the sheriff.
- [Several hands go up]
- Dean Winchester: Of... Hibbing.
- Starr: It's all love pretty boy. All of you will become all of us. We won't waste one bit.
- Dean Winchester: Dean: Okay Mufasa enough with the circle of life crap.
- Sam Winchester: We got nothing on the Mark?
- Dean Winchester: Right, you think these eggheads with all the crap they amassed over the years would have actually collected something important. Ah, here...
- [Holds up book]
- Dean Winchester: "He-wolf, She-wolf: A Study in Werewolf Transgenderism"; six hundred pages, volume one. But, uh, something important, like I don't know maybe the oldest symbol known to man, 'that's not worth our time, it's not weird enough.'
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Honestly Donna, I just met the guy but, Doug seems like kind of a dick.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: But he was *my* dick... I'm gonna hit the can, you know, where it's less gross.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: Look at all this sunblock, you'd think he's at the Copacabana or something.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: I'll explain later.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: What body?
- Sheriff Kevin Ott: Trashmen found it behind the hardware store this morning, *eaten*.
- Sheriff Donna Hanscum: [Gasps] Eaten how?
- Sheriff Kevin Ott: Like nothing left but the peach pit, you know?
- Dean Winchester: Len's like your Charlie Manson?
- Starr: Ohhh. Charlie couldn't hold a candle to Len. He taught us everything.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, I'm sure it was all Kombucha and Kumbaya.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: It's not enough that you kill people. You've got to rob them, too?
- Starr: We scavenge. We don't sip and go. We use every part of the buffalo.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: And to think I gave you lunch money.
- Sam Winchester: Alright, I'll go try and crack the police server. Maybe something showed up on surveillance.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, maybe I'll go crack the deputy.
- Sam Winchester: But this time, try to be a little less defensive of your pretend job.
- Dean Winchester: Ya know, this badge means something...
- Sam Winchester: I made it at Kinko's.
- Dean Winchester: Yes, you did... Be proud of that.