- Ms. Bagwind: [Turns off the TV after a clip from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" plays] What on Earth was that?
- Jessie Spano: Um... the Chipmunks teaching music appreciation.
- Ms. Bagwind: Well I don't appreciate it. Whatever happened to Lawrence Welk?
- Flash: Clear the path! Clear the path! Identify your program slot! I said identify your program slot!
- Zack Morris: Wh... who are you?
- Flash: I'm Flash. I'm the circuit maker around here. Now what show are you with? Hey, I'm busy busy busy busy busy! I don't have a moment to spare, so don't give me any static! Now don't give me any static! What show are you with?
- Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater: We're not with any show. We're here by mistake.
- Flash: So are half the shows on television!
- Zack Morris: No, you don't get it. Look, we're trying to find our way out of here.
- Flash: Low ratings, huh?
- Zack Morris: No, no, no ratings at all. Look, we're not in a show. We're trying to find the master programmer.
- [Trumpet song plays]
- Flash: The all-powerful master programmer? He has no time for you! He's got an entire Saturday morning to plan. Look, you seem like nice kids, but you don't belong here. So if you will excuse me, I'm already two and a half seconds late, two and a half seconds late, two and a half seconds late...
- [Fades away]
- Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater: Hey, what did you imagine, Screech?
- Zack Morris: Yeah, you and Lisa stranded on Gilligan's Island forever, huh?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Well, that too, but I was thinking more along the lines of a fantastic computer game full of adventure!
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: And then my dumb cat Rover bumped the machine, and whammo! We end up here.
- ALF: Like I always say: The only thing a cat is good for is lunch!