- Phil and Luke take over Thanksgiving duties but Claire readies an emergency plan. Jay and Gloria get their holiday plans interrupted and regret not telling anyone. Cameron has to think of a way to get Lily to wear a dress for dinner.
- Thanksgiving was traditionally a big event around the Pritchett and Dunphy residences. But things were about to be shaken up this year. Jay (Ed O'Neill) and Gloria (Sofía Vergara) were going to visit the family in Colombia and leave Manny (Rico Rodriguez) at home with Phil and Claire. However, the airport in Colombia was closed due to a mudslide. Yet somehow, they were able to send a video message while waiting for their connecting flight from Mexico. How, you say? They never went. Jay figured they spend enough time with the family already and he just wanted to have a nice quiet staycation (or steakcation, as Gloria called it) from the family. Of COURSE this would never work, no matter how much Jay hates the fact Phil mixes his 30-year-old scotch with 7-Up.
Phil (Ty Burrell) and Luke (Nolan Gould) were taking over the duties of cooking the Thanksgiving meal. Phil even had an online app that would guide him through everything, complete with a female French chef who would even call him by name. While he enjoyed her telling him to keep the breasts oiled and rub the thighs with the spices, Claire (Julie Bowen) was readying things in the garage. She had a turkey standing by when (if!) Phil ruined his. She wanted to save the day when (if!) Phil couldn't come through. Alex (Ariel Winter) found her out, but given how much time she spent keeping Luke alive these days while Claire was at work, she was certainly sympathetic to Claire's plight and didn't rat her out. Meanwhile, Haley (Sarah Hyland) and Manny had to run some errands for Phil because he forgot a few things. Haley was driving fast and had to hit the brakes hard to avoid an accident. Manny instinctively put out his arm to stop her...and got to second base. Haley was, to say the least, upset. Not nearly as upset as she would be later when Manny had on clothes he washed at their house and through the magic of no dryer sheets, had a pair of Haley's red panties stuck to his sleeve. He couldn't apologize enough for his actions, and she continued to freak out. Manny tried to reassure her he may have had a crush on her when he was younger but he didn't have one anymore. That actually made things worse.
As Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) tried to get Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) to wear the nice dress they got her for the holiday, which she wore over her play clothes, Phil started bringing all of the food over to Jay and Gloria's, figuring there was plenty of room there for everyone. This took Jay and Gloria by surprise. Gloria just wanted to give up, but Jay said they basically lied to their family's faces. (JAY: You think we could just throw money at this and make it go away? I'm ASKING you, do you think that would work?) It probably wouldn't, since Gloria's purse was downstairs, as was Jay's just-lit cigar and the small turkey they bought for themselves. They decided to grab 2 suitcases, sneak out the back, and then come in and pretend their flight was cancelled. A brilliant plan, only they left Joseph behind. Jay snuck the turkey out of the oven and wrapped it in a blanket, making it look like he was carrying Joseph. And proceeded to bang his head against the railing. Oh, did I forget to mention there were two turkeys in the oven? (it's a dual oven). The other turkey was the big one Phil put in there. And if you guessed Jay took that turkey out, making Phil believe his turkey shrunk, then you are very knowledgable about sitcoms. Phil was in a full-blown panic, at which point Claire sent Alex to get Lily's backpack, which contained the turkey she made. Of course, Cameron had to pick that moment to show Mitchell he wasn't above getting tough with Lily to lay down the law and insisted Lily put her backpack back in the car herself. She reluctantly put it on and fell right over. Mitch and Cam were certainly not happy there was now turkey juice all over Lily's backpack, Gloria wasn't happy Manny found the turkey she hid (Phil's turkey) in one of their suitcases, Phil was quite upset that Claire didn't trust him to cook the meal right, and Jay was sick and tired of the whole thing.
Once everyone calmed down, Jay explained that he wanted some alone time with Gloria once they had their trip cancelled. Thanksgiving was a big deal to families who only got together once or twice a year, but they were together all the time. Everybody reluctantly agreed, but Haley suddenly was upset. And not just because she made up with Manny and they accidentally kissed each other on the lips. She said she had been looking forward to Thanksgiving and really wanted to spend time with everyone. She begged and pleaded to keep the holiday, saying they could skip Christmas if they wanted. Everyone agreed.
Of course, Haley was going with some friends to Cabo for Christmas, so that may have had something to do with it.
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