- Stefan Salvatore: Ivy?
- [kitchen seems to have been struck by a tornado]
- Stefan Salvatore: You redecorated.
- Ivy: [full-on vampire] I should probably tell you I killed your boss. Dean? I woke up when he was burying me in the woods. I drank every drop of his blood. But it wasn't enough.
- Stefan Salvatore: Yeah, I know the feeling.
- Ivy: Then why aren't you helping me?
- Stefan Salvatore: I'm trying to help you.
- Ivy: Two blood-bags and a lesson on sunlight? Wow, thanks a million.
- Stefan Salvatore: Listen, I have to get you out of Savannah.
- Ivy: And I'm dead because of you. Because you lied to me about who you were. Your friend Enzo turned me into something straight out of... Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
- Stefan Salvatore: Ivy, calm down. When you're a vampire, your emotions are heightened.
- Ivy: You think? Look at me. I used to be a decent person. I got good grades, I went home for Christmas. I had a freaking Etsy store!
- Stefan Salvatore: Ivy, please...!
- Ivy: And now, I am a killer. And all I am gonna do is kill more... and more... and it's all your fault!
- [and then she growls, and lunges at him]
- Caroline Forbes: [opens door] Stefan? What? What are you...?
- Stefan Salvatore: I need a favor.
- [enters, dragging trunk, leaves it just beyond doorway]
- Caroline Forbes: What are you doing? And what is with this... trunk?
- Stefan Salvatore: Hang on!
- [hurriedly closes curtains to block out sunlight]
- Caroline Forbes: [trunk lid pops open, Ivy sits up] Oh, my God!
- Ivy: Where am I? What did you do?
- Caroline Forbes: Ivy? How did this happen?
- Stefan Salvatore: Ah, Enzo turned her.
- Ivy: Then Stefan broke my neck and I woke up in a trunk.
- Stefan Salvatore: Right. So I need a little bit of help.
- Caroline Forbes: No.
- [Ivy looks up at her]
- Caroline Forbes: No. No. No.
- Stefan Salvatore: Just watch her for a little while while I get Luke to make her a daylight ring. Show her the ropes, teach her some control.
- Caroline Forbes: No, no...
- Stefan Salvatore: Please...
- Caroline Forbes: This is not my mess. This is your mess.
- Stefan Salvatore: A mess that wouldn't have happened if you just left me alone.
- Ivy: I can hear you, you know. I can hear you, like, perfectly.
- Caroline Forbes: [to Stefan] Do I need to remind you that there is a vampire hunter lurking around?
- Stefan Salvatore: He's not here, he's in Savannah, which is why we're not.
- Ivy: Do you know what is the real tragedy in all this? I read He's Not That Into You, and...
- Caroline Forbes, Stefan Salvatore: Shut up!
- Stefan Salvatore: Tripp Cook has somehow decided to become the Eastern seaboard's self-proclaimed vampire hunter. None of us are save if we can't control ourselves.
- [to Caroline:]
- Stefan Salvatore: If anybody can teach her, it's you.
- Caroline Forbes: Well, you don't have to flatter me, because I already knew that.
- Stefan Salvatore: All right, so just... a couple of hours, and then... you'll never have to deal with me again.
- Caroline Forbes: Is that what you think I want?
- Stefan Salvatore: I don't know. You tell me.
- Caroline Forbes: [thinks it over] Okay.
- [nods]
- Ivy: [after Stefan left] When do we eat?
- Elena Gilbert: [after he regaled his class with the tale of the disfigured soldier who came back to find his wife cheating on him with his brother] You know, that cautionary tale would've had much more of an impact on me two weeks ago.
- Alaric Saltzman: Damon may be gone, but I can still find pleasure in judging his life choices. Speaking of which... have you changed your mind about me compelling you to forget about him yet?
- Elena Gilbert: Why do you say 'yet like I'm gonna wake up one day and realize that my life is over if I don't have the traumatic memories of loving a serial killer?
- Alaric Saltzman: Had to ask.
- Elena Gilbert: You know, maybe you're right. Maybe... I am making a huge mistake... or maybe I got a very valuable piece of advice... from myself about how to be happy, and I intend on taking it. Will I see you at the party tonight?
- Alaric Saltzman: You know, I'm waiting on the mixer for thirty-something vampires just back from the dead.
- [whispers:]
- Alaric Saltzman: Less of a crowd.
- Elena Gilbert: [chuckles] Come on, Ric. You are like one hoodie and three missed haircuts away from becoming Professor Shane.
- Alaric Saltzman: I am perfectly content staying at home letting my hair grow out.
- Elena Gilbert: You're hiding. You're becoming a self-loathing vampire hermit. Tell you what, you've been given the chance to start over. Take it. Be happy.
- Alaric Saltzman: I am happy-ish.
- Elena Gilbert: Exactly. I'll see you at eight. But not in that T-shirt. You've worn it twice this week.
- [goes off]
- Elena Gilbert: Are you going out tonight?
- Liam Davis: On the Friday of Homecoming weekend? No, I'm studying.
- Elena Gilbert: Sarcasm. What an unexpected response. I think you should come to the corn maze with me.
- Liam Davis: A corn maze?
- Elena Gilbert: Mm-hmm.
- Liam Davis: Will Dorothy and Toto be joining us?
- Elena Gilbert: [scoffs] Hilarious. You know, there's an actual scientific word for... why people go to these events?
- Liam Davis: And what's that?
- Elena Gilbert: Fun. You feel like having some with me?
- Liam Davis: That depends. Are you gonna try and set me up with any more of your friends?
- Elena Gilbert: That depends. Are you gonna try and kiss me out of the blue again?
- Liam Davis: Not when you say it like that.
- Elena Gilbert: I gotta go. More people to invite.
- Liam Davis: You're inviting multiple people to be your date tonight?
- Elena Gilbert: I'm inviting multiple people to join in on the fun. As for who my date will be, well, that depends on you.
- Ivy: Well, what do you think?
- [twirls to show off white dress]
- Caroline Forbes: I think you're wearing my dress, and you must be deaf because I already said, the party's not happening.
- Ivy: So you'd rather be locked in a dorm room with a newbie vampire?
- Caroline Forbes: No, I'd rather be at the party. Just like I'd rather have friends who didn't ignore me for months and then use me when they need help.
- Ivy: Whoa. Just realized why Stefan brought me here to learn control. Do yourself a favor, unwind. Just... admit you have a thing for him.
- Caroline Forbes: [sits upright] Excuse me?
- Ivy: I saw the way you looked at him that night you came over for dinner. You practically cut his food for him.
- Caroline Forbes: Oh! You know, my relationship with Stefan is strictly... complicated, okay? Aren't you supposed to be practicing your vamping or something?