Death Battle (TV Series)

Goku VS Superman - The Original Classic (2013)

Chad James: Boomstick - Host, Master Roshi

Quotes 

• Wizard : Kakarot was born to a low-class Saiyan warrior on the planet Vegeta. He narrowly escaped the extinction of his entire race when he was sent to Earth with a single, simple mission...

  Boomstick : Destroy everything! Then he conveniently bumped his head and forgot about it all.

  Wizard : Dubbed Goku by his adopted grandfather, his life revolves around combat. He cares little for anything else, unless food is involved.

  Boomstick : At 12 years old, he was trained by Master Roshi in Kame-Sennin Ryu, which pushes a person to superhuman levels.

  Wizard : Complementing his Saiyan biology, Goku's superhuman strength, speed and senses skyrocketed. He developed numerous fighting techniques including the fast-moving After-Image and the Dragonthrow, his trademark grapple.

  Boomstick : At fifteen, he was already so powerful that the only worthy teachers left were gods... and a talking cat, but mostly GODS! He was only a kid and already, his power level was already enormous!

  Vegeta : It's over 9,000!

  Boomstick : Not yet!

  [video fast-forwards through the Dragon Ball Z series] 

  Boomstick : Okay, now it is.

  Wizard : FALSE! In the Japanese manga, Goku's power level at that time was 8,000. But it doesn't even matter because power levels are absurd. The entire point of introducing them was to show how unreliable and meaningless they were. By relying on power levels, the villains constantly underestimated the heroes. Therefore, using them to judge Goku's abilities is pointless. Besides, the Daizenshuu says that...

  Boomstick : Dai-what now?

  Wizard : The Official Dragonball Encyclopedia. It states power levels eventually become immeasurable, not because they are so high they can't be measured, but because the characters, and hopefully the audience, have realized just how futile these numbers are. We cannot judge Goku by his power level, nor can we through power scaling, the theory that he can achieve the same feats as lesser Dragonball characters. Goku's abilities are tailored to his personal training and experiences, not to mention anatomy.

  Boomstick : However, Goku does have a knack for mimicking ki techniques.

  Wizard : Ki is metaphysical, made up of things such as vigor, courage and being in one's true mind.

  Boomstick : It's basically a kind of natural life force energy and is a fundamental component of Daoist medicine and martial arts. Oh, and uh, it's NOT magic!

  Wizard : Dragonball creates a very distinct difference between ki and magic. Ki is dependent on the physical ability of the user and magic-users like Babidi are clearly using something different. Goku harnesses and manipulates his ki energy...

  Boomstick : Into badass lasers and stuff, like ki blasts, energy barriers and the Destructo Disc, which he totally stole from Krillin. The Solar Flare blinds opponents and the Spirit Bomb puts energy from other things into a giant death ball... that takes freaking forever to make.

  Wizard : And energy taken from sentient beings must be voluntary. The Spirit Bomb is fueled by positive energy which is only effective against those filled with negative energy, AKA evil. In the Super Android 13 film, Goku actually absorbs the ki gathered from the Spirit Bomb, becoming one with it, transforming and manipulating the energy himself.

  Boomstick : But his two best moves are the Dragon Fist, where he super-charges his punch with a golden ki dragon and the one and only Kamehameha: a giant focused beam which every kid in the world has always wanted to do. Don't lie, you've tried it.

  Wizard : Goku also uses ki for telekinesis and high-speed flight. He can even sense the power and location of other ki sources and then teleport directly to them with Instant Transmission.

  Boomstick : Which is light speed!

  Goku : You dematerialize and travel as a mass of light.

  Wizard : Again, FALSE! This is another mistake in translation. According to the original manga, "Instant Transmission is... well... instant." Its only flaw is that it requires concentrated focus. Also, he can read minds.

  Boomstick : Wait, what? Is there no limit to this ki thing?

  Wizard : There is. Goku draws from a finite pool of ki energy. So to increase his power, Goku perfected the art of Kaio-Ken. This amplifies Goku's ki, multiplying his strength, speed, defense and so on.

  Boomstick : Only one problem: it puts a giant strain on body and can even kill him.

• Wizard : But Goku does not have to rely solely on his ki. He wields the Power Pole, a magical staff which expands and contracts.

  Boomstick : When he's hurt, eating a Senzu bean heals him up and to get around, he rides the Flying Nimbus, a flying cloud which probably tastes like cotton candy.

  Wizard : Still, the Kaio-Ken was Goku's trump card for some time until a fateful battle with the tyrant Frieza, who pushed Goku past his limits to achieve the legendary form of Super Saiyan.

  Boomstick : There are four different levels of Super Saiyan, each drastically boosting his power.

  Wizard : Like the Kaio-Ken, each form does burden his body, though Goku has trained to minimize this.

  Boomstick : Super Saiyan 3 multiplies the already combined power of Super Saiyan 2 by four, but comes at a horrible price: that hair! Oh, and it pretty much destroys his body while he's using it, but MY GOD, THE HAIR!

  Wizard : Fortunately for Goku, the life-sapping Super Saiyan 3 would be trumped by his final transformation: Super Saiyan 4. This form alters his body to better endure the 4000x power increase.

  Boomstick : Complete with pink fur and eye shadow. Fear the ultimate form!

  Wizard : With each transformation, minus full-power Super Saiyan 1, Goku loses some self-control, becoming more violent and instinct-prone. Goku's greatest strength is his tenacity and never-give-up attitude. He does not fight to defeat others. He fights to defeat himself. However, this may also be his greatest weakness.

  Boomstick : He prefers a fair fight, eager to see his opponent's maximum potential.

  Wizard : But, when the whole world is at stake, well... hindsight is 20/20.

  Boomstick : And while he's more than tough enough to survive in a vacuum, he clearly needs oxygen, so no breathing in space.

  Wizard : Plus, well... Goku's not very bright. Despite some basic schooling from Roshi, Goku has never had a day of certified formal education in his life. It took him years just to learn how to drive.

  Boomstick : But why the hell would Goku need to drive a car?

  Wizard : Even so, Goku understands his weaknesses. To him, a formal education would just be a waste of time. He is already a genius when it comes to martial arts.

  Boomstick : And even if he does get the hell beaten out of him, he improves with every fight.

  Wizard : And that is what Goku is all about. He thrives on becoming stronger and bursting limits and has overcome every obstacle in his way.

  Boomstick : Even marriage.

  Wizard : Goku might just be the greatest martial artist in fictional history.

• Wizard : Kal-El was born to a high-class scientist on the planet Krypton. He narrowly escaped the destruction of his homeworld when his father sent him to Earth with the goal of preserving human life.

  Boomstick : Well, what a coincidence... except for the whole saving human life thing. After landing on Earth, he was found and raised by the Kents, who decided to name him Clark. And weren't they surprised when they found out he was an alien with superpowers.

  Wizard : After discovering his true heritage, Clark refused to accept his Kryptonian side. He subconsciously developed mental barriers that blocked him from attaining his full power, which he would work to uncover throughout the rest of his life.

  Boomstick : Stupid power-limiting brain.

  Wizard : After graduating from college in two years and traveling the world as a secret superhero, Clark moved to the city of Metropolis as an investigative reporter and donned the red and blue to publicly announce his presence as the Superman, defender of truth, justice and the American way!... until he renounced his American citizenship.

  Boomstick : Mild-mannered Clark kept his identity a secret with the brilliant disguise of nerdy glasses and wimpy demeanor proving that people only see what they want to believe.

  Wizard : Boomstick, that's surprisingly profound.

  Boomstick : [burps]  Since then, his power's been pretty inconsistent, mostly due to the writers doing whatever the hell they please.

  Wizard : Well, there is a legitimate explanation. Superman's powers are dependent on the ultra-solar rays of the sun. By absorbing yellow or blue sunlight, his power rises; however he cannot absorb sunlight from a red star. So, if you take away a yellow sun, you slowly take away Superman's powers.

  Boomstick : He's solar-powered! They call him the world's first superhero but he sounds like the world's first hippie to me.

  Wizard : Now, the intensity of solar radiation disperses the further away it gets from its source, so the closer Superman is to the sun, the more solar radiation he'll absorb.

  Boomstick : So he gathers more power the higher he gets? He IS a hippie.

  Wizard : In the Justice League series, Our Worlds at War, Superman actually spent fifteen minutes INSIDE the sun. When he resurfaced, he was powerful enough to effortlessly move planets.

  Boomstick : He can also hear sounds millions of miles away, see through anything but lead, and spot things moving faster than light.

  Wizard : He can see at a subatomic level and hear through the vacuum of space... somehow. He can even see your soul.

  Boomstick : What?

  Wizard : It happened.

• Boomstick : Well, weird abilities aside, Superman can freeze his enemies in ice or create hurricanes just by breathing, and to top it all off, he shoots laser beams from his eyes.

  Wizard : His heat vision can be expanded to encompass anything within Superman's sight and reach temperatures hotter than the sun.

  Boomstick : He can incinerate entire planets in a staring contest.

  Wizard : However, heat vision drains his power faster than any other ability, especially when he amps it up. And with precision, heat vision can reach microscopic levels invisible to the human eye. Superman can vibrate his body fast enough to phase through attacks, even turn invisible. By vibrating to just under light speed, Superman can use the infinite mass punch. This speed causes the relative mass of his fist to increase immensely and hit with the force of a supernova.

  Boomstick : Which explodes at a force of 10 octillion megatons! Thanks fact-of-the-day calendar.

  Wizard : In comparison, this is the Tsar, the most powerful bomb mankind has ever tested: 50 megatons.

  Boomstick : So that punch is like 200 septillion super-nukes. That's 24 zeroes, bitches!

  Wizard : Superman is not only strong, but a genius with a super-brain that can process information thousands of times faster than an average human. He is capable of strategic fighting, even while traveling eight times the speed of light.

  Boomstick : He's an expert at disabling opponents through pressure point combat and once fought demons in Valhalla alongside Wonder Woman and Thor... for 1,000 freaking years!

  Wizard : He's even learned to protect his mind from telepathic attacks. He also studied two Kryptonian martial arts: Torquasm-Rao and Torquasm-Vo.

  Boomstick : Orgasm-what now?

  Wizard : Torquasm-Rao is a hard martial art in which Superman enters the theta state, a real-life phenomenon in which a person becomes extremely receptive to information and instinct. Torquasm-Vo is a mental martial art with which Superman can fight off mind domination and illusions or even counterattack.

  Boomstick : In order to master all his powers, Superman needed to break through his own self-created mental blocks, like how when he was younger, he believed he needed to eat food and breathe oxygen like humans, when he can really just survive on solar energy alone like some weird plant man.

  Wizard : And thanks to some intense training by Mongol II, he managed to tear these barriers down and become the true Superman, capable of amazing feats.

  Boomstick : Yeah, like when he obliterated an F5 tornado with a round of applause. Or when he was the filling for a planet sandwich, or held a mini black hole in his hand. Or the time he dragged the freaking Earth around! Superman has survived some pretty crazy things. Like when Koldgast hit him with 15 supernovas to the face!

  Wizard : Exaggeration? Maybe, but he has survived other supernovas before. When he takes a hit, his super-dense molecular structure and bio-electric aura protect him and his suit.

  Boomstick : Holy crap, he sounds invincible!

  Wizard : Not exactly. His solar energy can be depleted over the course of a battle, if he takes too much damage or remains out of sunlight for too long. This is how the monster Doomsday was able to kill him. Oh, sorry, not kill, put him into a "healing coma".

  Boomstick : [coughs]  Cop-out!

  Wizard : He also has several specific weaknesses, like the famous Kryptonite, radioactive fragments of his homeworld which bring him to his knees. Any prolonged exposure will eventually kill him. He also has no special resistance to magical attacks.

  Boomstick : And he always gets all hung up on doing the right thing, even if it makes his life miserable.

  Wizard : He does not fight for himself, but to protect others. Even the buildings in Metropolis are more valuable to him than his own life... most of the time. The point is, Superman spends more time defending the city than actually improving his own abilities.

  Boomstick : But remove all those pesky feelings about saving people and look out!

• [Superman has just utterly annihilated Goku] 

  Boomstick : It's over! It's finally over! We never have to hear about it again!

  Wizard : Indeed. Superman may not be as tenacious as Goku, but sometimes, tenacity only prolongs the inevitable.

  Boomstick : Superman's power's insane. He can even patch up holes in reality with just his own static electricity.

  Wizard : Goku did not understand Superman's connection to the sun and would not think to teleporting him to a red star. Even if he did figure it out, he would run the risk of teleporting him to a blue star, which actually increases Superman's power.

  Boomstick : And if Goku destroyed the sun, the supernova would blast all the way past Mars and incinerate him.

  Wizard : So it ultimately comes down to who's stronger, faster and tougher. The force needed to move an object out of the sun's orbit by 1% is about one thousand times less than the object's mass. The Earth weighs in at just under 6.6 sextillion tons. This means that Superman is strong enough to move 6.6 quintillion tons.

  Boomstick : But since his solar power can rise infinitely, this is nowhere near his maximum strength.

  Wizard : While being timed by Max Lord, Superman flew to the sun and back in less than two minutes. That's 9.4 billion km/h.

  Boomstick : Not to mention he was fighting Wonder Stripper the whole time.

  Wizard : True, so it's likely he can go faster. According to Batman, he can fly at least 17 billion km/h.

  Boomstick : And NOBODY argues with Batman! The Man of Steel can survive the impact of multiple supernovas, each with about ten octillion megatons of force.

• Wizard : So, Superman's feats and skills are definitively measured. However, Goku's are not and are difficult to judge. Not only does Dragonball heavily abuse cinematic time, but Goku's final adventures in Dragonball GT are incredibly inconsistent due to his untimely transformation into a child. As ki is dependent on the physical body, his child form likely could not handle his own ki, sending his power into flux.

  Boomstick : And obviously, we're not using future Goku 'cause that would require a ridiculous amount of assumption. Not to mention we'd have to use future Superman, who's pretty much God. So, like Superman, we need to judge Goku in his prime.

  Wizard : After experimenting with dozens of different theories, we discovered an iron-clad method to finding Goku's limits, which we call the Gravity Formula, based around his training in increased gravity. Due to his style of training and Saiyan heritage, Goku increases his abilities proportionate to the amount of force he trains under. While in base form, Goku could lift just under 40 tons. This is equivalent to 586x normal Earth gravity, which we will use in the Gravity Formula along with the Super Saiyan multipliers to calculate Goku's maximum potential.

  Boomstick : Multiplying the 40 tons by the Super Saiyan forms means he can lift up to 160,000 tons in Super Saiyan 4, strong enough to pick up a continent... or my ex-wife. Ha ha! Right after Goku trained on King Kai's planet, which has gravity 10x stronger than Earth's, he flew across Snake Way Road as fast as possible to save his friends. It took him 28 hours, impressive since that's 1,000,000 kilometers long.

  Wizard : Except it's filled with curves and Goku flew straight over it, so how far did he actually travel? By comparing Goku's height to a single spike, we can measure each curve. We can then remove those curves from the overall length. So it turns out that Goku actually flew 307,000 kilometers, nearly 11,000 km/h.

  Boomstick : To see how fast his base form is at the end of the series, we run the Snake Way number through the gravity formula to find that his top speed clocks in at over 2 1/2 billion km/h, over 2x the speed of light.

  Wizard : We can determine Goku's durability through this bomb, which the brilliant Dr. Gero designed to kill Goku at age 25, when his maximum potential was Kaio-Ken x4.

  Boomstick : Scans of the bomb display a TNT measurement of 657. Bulma says the bomb could destroy the Earth, so this is likely measured in quadrillion megatons, since it takes at least 53 quadrillion megatons of force to destroy the Earth.

  Wizard : So in his final form, Goku can survive up to nearly 35 sextillion megatons.

  Boomstick : Goku doesn't rely solely on his physical abilities. He amplifies his strength and durability with ki.

  Wizard : But even though his ki reserves cannot be measured, we can determine his maximum output. See, his ki attacks do not force him backward unless he allows them to.

  Boomstick : Even when firing upward at full power, the ground beneath him remains untouched.

  Wizard : Therefore, according to physics, his maximum output is at most equal to the amount of force he can withstand.

  Boomstick : Luckily, we just calculated that with the Gero bomb.

• Wizard : All right, now that we've determined Goku's maximum potential, let's compare it to Superman's.

  [shows a graphical representation of Superman and Goku's mathematically-determined power levels] 

  Boomstick : HOLY SHIT! Not even close.

  Wizard : Now we can compare feats and throw equations around, but in the end, numbers cannot measure what Goku and Superman are capable of. They are both ultimate heroes, solutions to daunting problems and achievers of the impossible. The difference is at the core of their character. Goku has never been invincible; he has very clear limits and must overcome those limits to solve the problems at hand. That's the whole point. On the other hand, Superman's story is not about the fight to become the best, but of an immigrant facing the challenge of home versus heritage. After accepting his alien side, Superman has reached his full potential, which under the endless power of the sun is essentially limitless. In short, Superman is as strong as he needs to be. So what happens when you pit a man with the power to break any limits against another who has no limits in the first place? Well, only one has limits to give at all.

  Boomstick : Goku just Kaio-can't keep up with the Man of Steel.

  Wizard : The winner is Superman.

• Wizard : Born to dying races and sent to brave new worlds, these two alien saviors are legendary.

  Boomstick : And everybody wants to know who would kick whose ass in a fight. And I mean everyone!

  Wizard : Goku, the tenacious Super Saiyan...

  Boomstick : ...and Superman, the Man of Steel.

  Wizard : To ensure no questions are left unanswered, we will be acknowledging every official resource for both combatants, though the original writings hold precedence; no mistranslations allowed. Also, as he was retconned and rebuilt in 1986, we will be examining the modern Superman.

  Boomstick : Considering Supes pre-'86 could make up new super powers on the fly and destroy entire solar systems by sneezing, probably a good idea.

• Wizard : Kakarot was born to a low-class Saiyan warrior on the planet Vegeta. He narrowly escaped the extinction of his entire race when he was sent to Earth with a single, simple mission...

  Boomstick : Destroy everything! Then he conveniently bumped his head and forgot about it all.

  Wizard : Dubbed Goku by his adopted grandfather, his life revolves around combat. He cares little for anything else, unless food is involved.

  Boomstick : At 12 years old, he was trained by Master Roshi in Kame-Sennin Ryu, which pushes a person to superhuman levels.

  Wizard : Complementing his Saiyan biology, Goku's superhuman strength, speed and senses skyrocketed. He developed numerous fighting techniques including the fast-moving After-Image and the Dragonthrow, his trademark grapple.

• Wizard : Kal-El was born to a high-class scientist on the planet Krypton. He narrowly escaped the destruction of his home world when his father sent him to Earth with the goal of preserving human life.

  Boomstick : Well, what a coincidence... except for the whole saving human life thing. After landing on Earth, he was found and raised by the Kents, who decided to name him Clark. And weren't they surprised when they found out he was an alien with superpowers.

  Wizard : After discovering his true heritage, Clark refused to accept his Kryptonian side. He subconsciously developed mental barriers that blocked him from attaining his full power, which he would work to uncover throughout the rest of his life.

  Boomstick : Stupid power-limiting brain.

  Wizard : After graduating from college in two years and traveling the world as a secret superhero, Clark moved to the city of Metropolis as an investigative reporter and donned the red and blue to publicly announce his presence as the Superman, defender of truth, justice and the American way!... until he renounced his American citizenship.

  Boomstick : Mild-mannered Clark kept his identity a secret with the brilliant disguise of nerdy glasses and wimpy demeanor proving that people only see what they want to believe.

  Wizard : Boomstick, that's surprisingly profound.

  Boomstick : [burps]  Since then, his power's been pretty inconsistent, mostly due to the writers doing whatever the hell they please.

• Boomstick : [about Goku]  At fifteen, he was already so powerful that the only worthy teachers left were gods... and a talking cat, but mostly GODS! He was only a kid and already, his power level was already enormous!

  Vegeta : It's over 9,000!

  Boomstick : Not yet!

  [video fast-forwards through the Dragon Ball Z series] 

  Boomstick : Okay, now it is.

  Wizard : FALSE! In the Japanese manga, Goku's power level at that time was 8,000. But it doesn't even matter because power levels are absurd. The entire point of introducing them was to show how unreliable and meaningless they were. By relying on power levels, the villains constantly underestimated the heroes. Therefore, using them to judge Goku's abilities is pointless. Besides, the Daizenshuu says that...

  Boomstick : Dai-what now?

  Wizard : The Official Dragonball Encyclopedia. It states power levels eventually become immeasurable, not because they are so high they can't be measured, but because the characters, and hopefully the audience, have realized just how futile these numbers are.

• Boomstick : Superman can freeze his enemies in ice or create hurricanes just by breathing, and to top it all off, he shoots laser beams from his eyes.

  Wizard : His heat vision can be expanded to encompass anything within Superman's sight and reach temperatures hotter than the sun.

  Boomstick : He can incinerate entire planets in a staring contest.

  Wizard : However, heat vision drains his power faster than any other ability, especially when he amps it up. And with precision, heat vision can reach microscopic levels invisible to the human eye. Superman can vibrate his body fast enough to phase through attacks, even turn invisible. By vibrating to just under light speed, Superman can use the infinite mass punch. This speed causes the relative mass of his fist to increase immensely and hit with the force of a supernova.

  Boomstick : Which explodes at a force of 10 octillion megatons! Thanks fact-of-the-day calendar.

  Wizard : In comparison, this is the Tsar, the most powerful bomb mankind has ever tested: 50 megatons.

  Boomstick : So that punch is like 200 septillion super-nukes. That's 24 zeroes, bitches!

• Wizard : We cannot judge Goku by his power level, nor can we through power scaling, the theory that he can achieve the same feats as lesser Dragonball characters. Goku's abilities are tailored to his personal training and experiences, not to mention anatomy.

  Boomstick : However, Goku does have a knack for mimicking ki techniques.

  Wizard : Ki is metaphysical, made up of things such as vigor, courage, and being in one's true mind.

  Boomstick : It's basically a kind of natural life force energy and is a fundamental component of Daoist medicine and martial arts. Oh, and uh, it's NOT magic.

  Wizard : Dragonball creates a very distinct difference between ki and magic. Ki is dependent on the physical ability of the user, and magic-users like Babidi are clearly using something different. Goku harnesses and manipulates his ki energy...

  Boomstick : Into badass lasers and stuff, like ki blasts, energy barriers and the Destructo Disc, which he totally stole from Krillin. The Solar Flare blinds opponents and the Spirit Bomb puts energy from other things into a giant death ball... that takes freaking forever to make.

  Wizard : And energy taken from sentient beings must be voluntary. The Spirit Bomb is fueled by positive energy which is only effective against those filled with negative energy, AKA evil. In the Super Android 13 film, Goku actually absorbs the ki gathered from the Spirit Bomb, becoming one with it, transforming and manipulating the energy himself.

• Wizard : Superman is not only strong, but a genius with a super-brain that can process information thousands of times faster than an average human. He is capable of strategic fighting, even while traveling eight times the speed of light.

  Boomstick : He's an expert at disabling opponents through pressure point combat and once fought demons in Valhalla alongside Wonder Woman and Thor... for 1,000 freaking years!

  Wizard : He's even learned to protect his mind from telepathic attacks. He also studied two Kryptonian martial arts: Torquasm-Rao and Torquasm-Vo.

  Boomstick : Orgasm-what now?

  Wizard : Torquasm-Rao is a hard martial art in which Superman enters the theta state, a real-life phenomenon in which a person becomes extremely receptive to information and instinct. Torquasm-Vo is a mental martial art with which Superman can fight off mind domination and illusions or even counterattack.

• Boomstick : [about Goku]  His two best moves are the Dragon Fist, where he super-charges his punch with a golden ki dragon, and the one and only Kamehameha: a giant focused beam which every kid in the world has always wanted to do. Don't lie, you've tried it.

  Wizard : Goku also uses ki for telekinesis and high-speed flight. He can even sense the power and location of other ki sources and then teleport directly to them with Instant Transmission.

  Boomstick : Which is light speed!

  Goku : You dematerialize and travel as a mass of light.

  Wizard : Again, FALSE! This is another mistake in translation. According to the original manga, "Instant Transmission is... well... instant." Its only flaw is that it requires concentrated focus. Also, he can read minds.

  Boomstick : Wait, what? Is there no limit to this ki thing?

  Wizard : There is. Goku draws from a finite pool of ki energy. So to increase his power, Goku perfected the art of Kaio-Ken. This amplifies Goku's ki, multiplying his strength, speed, defense and so on.

  Boomstick : Only one problem: it puts a giant strain on his body and can even kill him.

• Wizard : [explaining why Superman's powers are inconsistent]  Superman's powers are dependent on the ultra-solar rays of the sun. By absorbing yellow or blue sunlight, his power rises. However, he cannot absorb sunlight from a red star. So, if you take away a yellow sun, you slowly take away Superman's powers.

  Boomstick : He's solar-powered! They call him the world's first superhero, but he sounds like the world's first hippie to me.

  Wizard : Now, the intensity of solar radiation disperses the further away it gets from its source, so the closer Superman is to the sun, the more solar radiation he'll absorb.

  Boomstick : So he gathers more power the higher he gets? He IS a hippie.

  Wizard : In the Justice League series, Our Worlds at War, Superman actually spent fifteen minutes INSIDE the sun. When he resurfaced, he was powerful enough to effortlessly move planets.

  Boomstick : He can also hear sounds millions of miles away, see through anything but lead, and spot things moving faster than light.

  Wizard : He can see at a subatomic level and hear through the vacuum of space... somehow. He can even see your soul.

  Boomstick : What?

  Wizard : It happened.

• Wizard : Goku does not have to rely solely on his ki. He wields the Power Pole, a magical staff which expands and contracts.

  Boomstick : When he's hurt, eating a Senzu bean heals him up and to get around, he rides the Flying Nimbus, a flying cloud which probably tastes like cotton candy.

  Wizard : Still, the Kaio-Ken was Goku's trump card for some time until a fateful battle with the tyrant Frieza, who pushed Goku past his limits to achieve the legendary form of Super Saiyan.

  Boomstick : There are four different levels of Super Saiyan, each drastically boosting his power.

  Wizard : Like the Kaio-Ken, each form does burden his body, though Goku has trained to minimize this.

  Boomstick : Super Saiyan 3 multiplies the already combined power of Super Saiyan 2 by four, but comes at a horrible price: that hair! Oh, and it pretty much destroys his body while he's using it, but MY GOD, THE HAIR!

  Wizard : Fortunately for Goku, the life-sapping Super Saiyan 3 would be trumped by his final transformation: Super Saiyan 4. This form alters his body to better endure the 4000x power increase.

  Boomstick : Complete with pink fur and eye shadow. Fear the ultimate form!

• Wizard : [about Goku's Super Saiyan forms]  With each transformation, minus full-power Super Saiyan 1, Goku loses some self-control, becoming more violent and instinct-prone. Goku's greatest strength is his tenacity and never-give-up attitude. He does not fight to defeat others. He fights to defeat himself. However, this may also be his greatest weakness.

  Boomstick : He prefers a fair fight, eager to see his opponent's maximum potential.

  Wizard : But, when the whole world is at stake, well... hindsight is 20/20.

  Boomstick : And while he's more than tough enough to survive in a vacuum, he clearly needs oxygen, so no breathing in space.

• Boomstick : In order to master all his powers, Superman needed to break through his own self-created mental blocks, like how when he was younger, he believed he needed to eat food and breathe oxygen like humans, when he can really just survive on solar energy alone like some weird plant man.

  Wizard : And thanks to some intense training by Mongol II, he managed to tear these barriers down and become the true Superman, capable of amazing feats.

  Boomstick : Yeah, like when he obliterated an F5 tornado with a round of applause. Or when he was the filling for a planet sandwich, or held a mini black hole in his hand. Or the time he dragged the freaking Earth around!