Family Guy (TV Series)

Turkey Guys (2014)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Carter Pewterschmidt

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : I love Train.

  Brian Griffin : I fucking LOVE Train!

• Peter Griffin : [to Lois]  We'll be back with a turkey faster than you can say, "Jack Robinson."

  Lois Griffin : Jack Ro...

  [slurs] 

  Lois Griffin : Jack Ro...

  [slurs] 

  Peter Griffin : She had a stroke that killed the part of her brain that says, "Jack Robinson." We got plenty of time.

• Peter Griffin : Brian, maybe you should be a little less mad at me and a little more mad at the guys growing mustaches for this month.

  Brian Griffin : Hey, don't mock Mo-vember. Last year, I raised eight dollars and got on a BuzzFeed listicle.

  Peter Griffin : No! You use real words! Internet stuff is not real words.

• Brian Griffin : Peter, what the hell? You chose a turkey over me? I almost died!

  Peter Griffin : I swear to God I thought dogs could breathe underwater.

• [last lines] 

  Peter Griffin : Four years later, Lois and I divorced and Stewie died.

• Lois Griffin : Peter, we have people coming over and they're expecting a turkey!

  Peter Griffin : If they're expecting a turkey, I'll just put on "Evan Almighty"! Zap!

• Brian Griffin : Peter, do you not see that we are completely screwed here? And it's all thanks to you! You drove my car into a lake, you almost let me drown, you got us thrown off a bus, you broke our bike and now you've gotten our turkey stolen and Thanksgiving is ruined and we don't have any transportation and we're still miles from home!

  Peter Griffin : You're starting to get black gums like an older dog.

  Brian Griffin : You know what? You know what? Maybe it's my fault. I forgot, I'm talking to a complete idiot. You are so stupid!

  Peter Griffin : Oh, yeah? Well, if I'm so stupid, then how did I manage to frame you for eating the turkey?

  Brian Griffin : What?

  Peter Griffin : Yeah! Didn't you notice you were passed out in all those photos? You didn't eat any of it. I just posed you like that because I didn't want to take all the blame.

  Brian Griffin : You son of a bitch! How could you do that to me?

  Peter Griffin : You're a dog, Brian. I can throw you off a bridge and as long as I don't hit a person on a boat, it's okay.

• Lois Griffin : Chris, are Brian or your Father back yet?

  Chris Griffin : No, and why are you saying the dogs name before dads?

  Stewie Griffin : It's weird. That is weird, You're right.