Family Guy (TV Series)

The 2,000-Year-Old Virgin (2014)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jesus Christ : Lois... Seems like you folks learned... the lesson I intended.

  Peter Griffin : *What* lesson?

  Jesus Christ : Oh, you know... uuuh... That... this holiest of days is about... appreciating... our loved ones and... uuuuh... resisting... temptation.

  Lois Griffin : Oh... So it was a test. Like when your father told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac?

  Jesus Christ : Yes! *That*! That's exactly right! Uuuuh... well. I can see my work here is done.

  Peter Griffin : Well taught, Jesus. Well taught.

  Jesus Christ : Yeah I guess, who cares. I'm not even real, Merry Christmas.

• Lois Griffin : Don't be afraid to be honest with a girl and show her who you are.

  Jesus Christ : Wow, thanks Lois. That's the second best advice anyone's ever given me.

  Guy in cutaway : I don't know, man, Jesus Hitler Christ sounds weird.

  Jesus Christ : So just go with H?

  Guy in cutaway : Yeah.