Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Has a Birthday! (2015)

Carol Kane: Lillian Kaushtupper

Quotes 

• Kimmy Schmidt : Stupid birthday. Stupid Kymmi. Ugh! And why do these heels keep poking through the floor?

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Not because the floors are just painted dirt. This is a real apartment.

• [Dong has torn a massive hole in a wall of Kimmy's apartment while fighting Logan] 

  Lillian Kaushtupper : I don't know how that happened with the wall. It's definitely not just old Valpaks covered in cake icing.

• Kimmy Schmidt : [picking up a high heel]  Ugh, how do you even walk in these things?

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Oh, well, you know high heels were invented by a man, Kimmy. 'Cause no woman ever invented anything.

• [Dressed nicely and toting a bicycle, Dong arrives at the stoop for Kimmy's birthday party] 

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Well, well, well! Tonight VC stands for "Very Chic."

  Dong Nguyen : Thank you, Mrs. Kimmy's Friend. Do you think you could help me? I need to sneak this bicycle inside.

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Oh, well, don't worry - nobody's gonna wanna steal that hunk of...

  Dong Nguyen : No, it's Kimmy's birthday present. I made it myself.

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Oh, you didn't let me finish. "Hunk of crap." It's rude to interrupt your elders.