Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Has a Birthday! (2015)

Ellie Kemper: Kimmy Schmidt

Photos 

Quotes 

• [at Kimmy's birthday party] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Why do you keep playing the same song over and over?

  Titus Andromedon : These are all different! Can you not tell house from electronicon?

  Kimmy Schmidt : No. Can you at least play music that has words in it?

  [Titus turns on a song whose lyrics consist of the repeated line "I beat that bitch with a bat"] 

  Titus Andromedon : [explanatory]  I can't fix America.

• Kimmy Schmidt : Stupid birthday. Stupid Kymmi. Ugh! And why do these heels keep poking through the floor?

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Not because the floors are just painted dirt. This is a real apartment.

• Kimmy Schmidt : [picking up a high heel]  Ugh, how do you even walk in these things?

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Oh, well, you know high heels were invented by a man, Kimmy. 'Cause no woman ever invented anything.

• Kimmy Schmidt : Look, tonight is about the birthday girl. 'Cause you can't spell Kimmy without "me"!

  Titus Andromedon : Yes you can. You have to!

• [Dong and Logan are fighting over Kimmy] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Stop it! Why are you fighting?

  Dong Nguyen : Bicycle is my present! I made it because of love!

  Logan Beekman : I assume you're talking about the tennis score there, because you did it for nothing.

• [Titus has just sung Katy Perry's "Firework" to Kimmy under the pretense that he wrote it for Kimmy as a birthday present] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Wow! That's very catchy. Some constructive criticism?

  Titus Andromedon : What?

  Kimmy Schmidt : I don't think anyone says "a firework," singular. It's "fireworks."

  Titus Andromedon : Hmm.

  Kimmy Schmidt : Also, "work" doesn't rhyme with "burst." And I'm not sure why you would compare me to a plastic bag, but I like it.