Community (TV Series)
Basic RV Repair and Palmistry (2015)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Frankie Dart : No, no, no, we're not spending the night here, so what's the second option? Which I am nicknaming "Little Course of Action".
Elroy Patashnik : I rewire the secondary battery to the engine and hope it can start it. If it doesn't, we're spending a very cold night with two dead batteries.
Frankie Dart : Okay, let's switch the batteries, then. Good democracy.
Annie Edison : Are we sure the secondary battery won't just die too?
Jeff Winger : Ha.
Elroy Patashnik : It's a possibility.
Jeff Winger : It exists.
Elroy Patashnik : But I'm pretty confident, because the secondary battery only powers the cabin. And we've kept the lights off and it goes without saying that we've all learned to stop charging our phones.
[Awkward silence, as the group's smiles disappear]
Elroy Patashnik : Why you all looking at each other like that? And where are each of your phones now?
[More awkward silence]
Elroy Patashnik : You know, I'm starting to suspect the unthinkable. Namely, that, in spite of all we've experienced, there's a cartoonish vampiric orgy of personal devices somewhere in the RV, sucking away our remaining battery. I only draw limited comfort from the fact that nobody's running to unplug anything. You know what? Say nothing. I'll just turn the light switch to the On position.
[He flips the switch. The light doesn't come on. He finds the pile of cell phones plugged into the outlet]
Elroy Patashnik : [Through gritted teeth] There is a bright side to this. Most conventional weapons don't require electricity.
Annie Edison : Are you going to eat me first?
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Frankie Dart : Well, apparently Armed Forces Day is the big one for tow truck drivers. Because there are three within 200 miles of this spot and they're all in the same parade.
Annie Edison : Maybe it'll come by this way if we offer them instruments?
Frankie Dart : Nobody reroutes parades.
Britta Perry : They rerouted Kennedy's parade.
Jeff Winger : So, we'll just call the CIA, tell them we want to assassinate the President, and we'll be home in time for Wheel of Fortune.
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Jeff Winger : Elroy, you got any booze?
Elroy Patashnik : Don't go through my stuff! This isn't a bus. You're standing in my living room, kitchen, and bedroom.
Annie Edison : Ooh, I never thought about that. And your backyard is 24,900 miles long, because it's the circumference of the Earth.
[Slowly, realizing her guff]
Annie Edison : Because you have no home. Did anyone need water? What else can we talk about?
