- [undercover, pretending to buy a house]
- Dean Winchester: Now I'm not saying that I have to have Jacuzzi, I'm just saying that I really like bubbles.
- Russell Wellington: Look, I'm just going to stop you right there. Judging from your cheap shoes and your faded jeans, I'm guessing the only house you're on the market for comes with wheels.
- Charlie Bradbury: I forgive you Dean.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah well, I don't.
- Charlie Bradbury: I know, kinda your move.
- Assistant: Mr. Presley?
- Dean Winchester: Yes. Yeah. Hi. Uh, actually, I'm, uh, you know, really into this article on, uh...
- [Looks at magazine cover]
- Dean Winchester: ... Mammograms.
- Voice on Tape: [Dean is listening to tape about relaxation] The key to quieting your mind is minding your quiet. Know and understand; the lack of an answer is---
- [Dean takes the tape out and throws it away]
- Dean Winchester: What are you saying Charlie tortured someone? *Our* Charlie, yay high? Wouldn't hurt a hobbit, practically sparkles.
- Charlie Bradbury: There's no going back to Oz. And with the wizard gone, Dorothy will be fine.
- Sam Winchester: So, does this mean no more adventure?
- Charlie Bradbury: I think we have all the adventure we can handle right here.
- Dean Winchester: Sooner we get rid of this demonic tramp stamp, I am back on the booze, burgers... and more booze.
- Dean Winchester: Charlie, lets talk about this.
- Dark Charlie: You Winchester boys and your talk. Blah blah blah repressed feelings. Blah blah blah passive aggression.
- Light Charlie: Let me just tell you being good is really annoying. Normally at a place like this, I'd be pounding Harvey Wallbangers and checking out the bartender's ass.
- [sighs]
- Light Charlie: Now all I wanna do is sip club sodas and send her to college.
- Dean Winchester: What the hell happened to you in Oz?
- Dark Charlie: Everything I wanted. An adventure. Even got my own little sword.
- Clive Dillon: A coven of witches grabbed me. They used the inner key on me, unleashed my ID. He was awful. He killed all the witches and went into a tantrum. Was power-hungry, crazy. He became the wizard of Oz.
- Sam Winchester: We are going to fix this. I'm not letting what happened to me happen to you.
- Dean Winchester: But it's already happened.
- Sam Winchester: Cain found a way to live with it.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, after centuries of murder.
- Charlie Bradbury: Yeah well, there's one thing you have that he didn't. You're a Winchester.
- Dean Winchester: We'll go back to Oz, and we'll get the key from the wizard of douche, and we'll put you back together.
- Sam Winchester: We need you to hack into Barbara's bank accounts.
- Light Charlie: I can't.
- Sam Winchester: What?
- Light Charlie: It's bad. I told you, being good is annoying.
- Dark Charlie: You know what I learned about being "dark"? It sets you free. And part of you knows that's right, too.
- Sam Winchester: You made egg-white omelettes?
- Dean Winchester: Yeah. Breakfast of Champions. You know, if you're a dork like you.
- Sam Winchester: And you slept past 7:00?
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, well, until we get answers on this Mark of Cain, I am on a 12-step program not to backslide.
- Sam Winchester: 12 steps?
- Dean Winchester: Yeah. Hey, if Cain found a way to live with it after going dark side, then I just got to find a way to keep it in check, so haven't had a drink in a week, eight hours of rack time every night, and, now, this masterpiece.
- Sam Winchester: That's three steps.
- Dean Winchester: ...Shut up and eat.
- Sam Winchester: After Baum rescued Clive, Clive came back and retired.
- Light Charlie: You can retire from the Men of Letters?
- Light Charlie: I made a deal with the wizard... of Oz.
- [Sam and Dean exchange looks]
- Light Charlie: Wears a hood and a creepy mask, kind of a jerk; good times. He said for us to win, I had to unleash my true darkness. Which he meant literally. He used the inner key of Oz. It opens a door to your soul and lets the darkness out.
- Dean Winchester: Listen, Dark Charlie-...
- Dark Charlie: Oh, grow up. There's no right. There's no wrong. There's just us... And them.
- Sam Winchester: So... are you...?
- Charlie Bradbury: Good? Bad? I think I'll just settle for balanced.
- Peter Harper: Please... I-I don't know anything else.
- Dark Charlie: I know. I'm gonna torture you anyway. 'Cause who doesn't love a little torture?