- Harry Chandler: You'd better get down from there, you're surrounded
- Walter Blunt: It's the Falklands all over again Harry, by land, by sea!
- Police Officer: Mr. Blunt, get down from the car.
- Walter Blunt: I don't feel well, Harry. I ate some chocolate marijuana and it's starting to kick in. My feet are vibrating and my thoughts are odd.
- Harry Chandler: I have told you edibles are dangerous, Major. You have to think of them as time release vitamins. Take very little.
- Walter Blunt: O Gertrude, Gertrude, when sorrows come they come not single spies but in battalions.
- Police Officer: Mr. Blunt!
- Harry Chandler: This is not the audience for Hamlet, major.
- Walter Blunt: It's not?
- Walter Blunt: [after Gisele tells Walter she's transsexual] Does that mean you have an intact penis?
- Gisele: Why don't we just say I have a nine-inch clit. Does that bother you?
- Walter Blunt: No! I'm English.