- Jonas: [answers the phone] Mess Hal, Jonas Jurchinsen. Hello.
- Victor: [disguising his voice] Yes, this is the Food Inspector. We've just received word that your food is contaminated with dick farts.
- [Neil and Victor laughing in the background]
- Jonas: What did you say?
- Victor: I said your stupid kitchen food apparently has a dick in it and that dick has apparently farted and now your entire kitchen smells like dick farts.
- [Neil makes fart noises]
- Victor: [more laughter]
- Jonas: This isn't the Food Inspector. The Food Inspector wouldn't call me at this time of day, who is this?
- Victor: I'm gonna kill you and fuck you.
- Jonas: Who is this?
- Victor: It's your butt hole!
- [attempts to hang up the phone and laughs hysterically, not noticing the phone falls off the hook]
- Neil: Oh my God, Victor, that was awesome! Victor, do you think he knew it was you, Victor? Victor, do you think he knew it was you, Victor?
- Jonas: [still listening on the other end] Victor Pulak.
- Victor: [suddenly stops laughing and nervously picks up the phone] Hello... why don't you go fuck a s-soup?
- Jonas: How bout I cook you, like a soup? I'll filter you through cheese cloth for stock and add fresh vegetables and grains. And once I'm done... I'm gonna kill you.
- Victor: [to Neil] He said he's gonna kill me. Like a soup. I'm not sure what to do. Should I hang up? Should I say thank you?
- Neil: No! No!
- Victor: Thank you.
- [hangs up]