- Lou Grover: [Standing over the body of an Elvis impersonator] The king is dead. Again.
- [Max and Steve give him a look]
- Lou Grover: C'mon, man, somebody had to say it.
- Steve McGarrett: Alright, Max, tell us exactly what happened.
- Dr. Max Bergman: Well, a few months ago, Jerry invited me to attend the convention with him. He already had his Elvis costume, so I decided to go as Presley's long time manager, Colonel Tom Parker.
- Steve McGarrett: Can you skip ahead to the part where this guy died?
- Danny 'Danno' Williams: [after the bad guy, dressed as Elvis, is wheeled away by the coroner's team] No one's gonna say it?
- Jerry Ortega: Elvis has left the building.
- Danny 'Danno' Williams: [to Chin and Kono who have just joined him and Jerry - in full Elvis costume - at the convention] Hey. Welcome to the, uh... freak show. We've got 17 Elvises, all of them potential suspects or witnesses.
- Jerry Ortega: [In all seriousness] Actually, the correct terminology is Elvi. But, you can also call them ETA's.
- [At the looks he is getting]
- Jerry Ortega: Elvis Tribute Artists.
- Danny 'Danno' Williams: It's amazing. The amount of useless trivia that you've managed to obtain over the years just blows my mind.
- Jerry Ortega: Hey, when it comes to the king, nothing's trivial.
- Lou Grover: [Steve is driving Lou home from the airport after flying back from Chicago] On a positive note, the trip was not a total bust. I did manage to score myself 6 deep dish pies from Malinotti's. Renee and the kids are about to welcome me home a hero.
- Steve McGarrett: I'm sorry. Did you just say that you flew 10 hours straight with a bunch of pizzas in your suitcase? Is that what you said?
- Lou Grover: You're damn right. And today is your lucky day. Because as a result of this unexpected pleasant little pick me up at the airport, I'm gonna cut you in on a slice.
- Steve McGarrett: Yeah, I'm uh, I'm kind of a thin crust guy, myself. But thank you, all the same.
- Lou Grover: [Eyeing Steve with suspicion] Okay.
- Chubby Elvis: Sure, I was in Lane's dressing room. I stopped by to wish him good luck and offer him a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I always pack a few extra because I'm hypoglycemic.
- Kono Kalakaua: Did you offer him a drink with that? Maybe some bourbon?
- Chubby Elvis: [laughing] No. That's funny.
- [At Kono's straight face]
- Chubby Elvis: Lane had actually gotten one as a gift. He was cracking it open when I came in. He did offer me a shot, but I said no. I'm 16 months sober.
- Kono Kalakaua: You have no idea how lucky you are. That bottle was poisoned.
- Chubby Elvis: If that'd been vodka, I'd be dead right now.
- Lou Grover: [Trying to hurry Max along regarding cause of death] If there's a point, please get to it. I got a bunch of pizzas in my suitcase and they need to be eaten.