Family Guy (TV Series)

Fighting Irish (2015)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Liam Neeson : [to Peter]  All right, it's a deal. You can help me with some chores. But one slip-up, and you'll be deader than the first man to die in the Battle of the Boyne.

  [Cutaway scene to a man dying in the Battle of the Boyne after being shot in the neck] 

  Peter Griffin : Normally when we do those, there's... there's, like, a joke.

  Liam Neeson : I'm not your clown.

• Miss Tammy : Oh, Lois, I'm glad you're here. I noticed that you're one of the moms who hasn't yet signed up to be a classroom volunteer.

  Lois Griffin : Oh, I-I just assumed after that incident in the parking lot with that bitch in the Lexus, you wouldn't want me to. But, yeah, I'd be happy to help out in the class.

  Stewie Griffin : What? I don't want you here. This is my turf. I don't bother you when you're sitting on the washing machine, screaming Aaron Eckhart's name.

• Liam Neeson : Peter, I was at an outdoor mall today, and there was a kiosk selling little remote control cars. One of them drove right up to me. It was very funny and enjoyable, so what I need you to do is to go to a local gym and ask men to pee in your hands.

  Peter Griffin : I - I don't see the connection there.

  Liam Neeson : Do I need to repeat myself? The car came right up to me. It did spins and had flashing lights. I enjoyed it. Go to the gym, kneel down in the shower, and ask strange men to pee in your cupped hands.

  Man at Gym : [Opening his towel while standing in front of Peter in the locker room]  Hey, man, did Liam Neeson send you? Yeah, he loves them little cars.

• Stewie Griffin : Hey, you know this old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children, she didn't know what to do? I got something she could do. Get your tubes tied, you kook!

• Peter Griffin : [during Quagmire's celebration of his 1000th sexual conquest]  All right, kids, now pay attention, all right? These are all of Quagmire's women organized by country. There's Brazil, there's Italy and there's Thailand. Wow. Wow, they're young. We should go.

• Lois Griffin : [after Landon spills a drink on himself and starts crying]  Oh, Landon, what's the matter? Aw, did you spill juice on yourself, sweetheart?

  Stewie Griffin : Sweetheart? Slow your roll there, Cougar Town.

• Peter Griffin : [after he encounters Colin Farrell dressed up as Mrs. Potato Head]  The back is all mashed potatoes now.

• Peter Griffin : No, Liam, I'm not doing your stupid chores anymore. And there's something else I got to tell you. Your story thread in Love, Actually is a second worst.

  Liam Neeson : You better take that back.

• Joe Swanson : All right, Peter, Liam Neeson must be on the other side of that barrier. We just got to get you on that set, so you can kick his ass.

  Peter Griffin : We're so close, I can almost *taste* his ass.