- Louie Provenza: [hoping to scoot out from the investigation to retrieve a ham from a free-range butcher] So what are we investigating, a scuffle between two saints?
- Julio Sanchez: [to Sharon] Oh, I wouldn't say that. According to the HR department at Hamilton/Lockwood where Mr. Palmer worked, there were two complaints filed against him professionally. One through his office, accusing him of making sexually inappropriate remarks and jokes, ma'am...
- Louie Provenza: Oh, well, did you write any of the jokes down?
- [chuckles]
- Louie Provenza: [noting Capt. Raydor's disapproving gaze] Well, you know, just to see how inflammatory they were.
- Sharon Raydor: Don't lose your ham, Lieutenant.
- Dr. Liu: As a result of the fall, Mr. Flynn, the blood clot has moved to a more dangerous position.
- Sharon Raydor: More dangerous?
- Dr. Liu: [indicating lower neck to behind the ear] Yeah. This is where it was. It's migrated to here.
- Dr. Liu: [to Flynn] Closer to you brain! Okay?
- Louie Provenza: How do you describe that medically?
- Dr. Liu: By saying "Oh, boy, do we need to operate, Mr. Flynn."
- Buzz Watson: [about their reticent suspect] Maybe he's the strong silent type.
- Louie Provenza: Yeah, but does he speak softly and carry a big tire iron?