Mother's Day (I) (2016)

Kate Hudson: Jesse

Photos 

Quotes 

• Russell : Look, you told me that your parents were mentally incapacitated.

  Jesse : Trust me, they are.

  Russell : Oh?

  Jesse : They are, and besides, it was our first date. Okay, who doesn't lie on their first date?

  Russell : Oh, really? Well, what about our second date and 50th date and what about the, um... Hey! Oh! The time that we had a child together? Do you realize that you lied to me about your parents?

  Jesse : I lie to everybody about my parents.

  Russell : Oh, that's reassuring.

  Jesse : I lie about my horrible life in that trailer park. I was a freshman in high school, saving every dime that I had so that I could just get out of there. No graduation, cap, gown, on a bus.

  Russell : Good, I get it, you hate your parents.

  Jesse : No, I don't hate them. They're my parents, so I love them, but... Honey, it's not... It's just that they're wrong about so much and they're wrong about how they treat people, they're wrong about how they honor people's differences...

  Russell : You know what's the worst part, is that you lied to them about me. Why? Because it's so terrible to be married to a towel-head! How embarrassing for you. Yeah, they should have called me Dr. Towel-Head.

• Jesse : So, Sandy's ex-husband just got remarried...

  Kristin : Oh...

  Jesse : ...to, like, a 12-year-old.

  Kristin : Oh!

  Jesse : So...

  Kristin : Yeah.

  Sandy : Well, I was actually going to say carpooling and bagging lunches, but, you know, or that.

• Sandy : Hey, if you're going to come, will you just text me? And I'll save you a seat?

  Jesse : Yes.

  Sandy : Okay, or tweet at me.

  Jesse : Yeah, I'll text... I'll tweet... What? Tweet you?

  Sandy : Yeah, see, right? That didn't sound right.

  Jesse : Mmm-mmm.

  Sandy : What is that? I was just trying it out.

• Kristin : I mean, I have her address, I just haven't had the courage to contact her. I'm really scared.

  Jesse : God, of course. That's... Who wouldn't be? I mean, that's crazy. You don't even know what she's going to be like. You don't even know your mother and she has this power over you. You're going to have to face it sooner or later. You can do it.

• Sandy : So, you have not heard from Russell?

  Jesse : Not a peep, radio silence.

  Sandy : Oh, God. I'm so sorry. Well, at least you have Tanner, you know? Of course, until the day that you get a divorce and then you have to have that 50/50 shared custody and then it's just, like, hell. That's my life. Wait a second. That's not your life, that's my life.

  Jesse : Indians don't really get divorced.

• Jesse : [to her son, who's peeing in front of the guests]  Tanner, nononono!

  Kristin : Oh!

  Jesse : It's like the fourth time he's done this.

• Sandy : By the way, your child is eating sand, if you...

  Jesse : Tanner, don't eat that. There's cat poop in it.

  Kristin : That's so gross. What if there is cat poop...

  Kristin : No, he's fine. They survive...

  Kristin : Cat poop...

  Jesse : And then they grow up to be just like us.

  Sandy : Yeah, and they have a very healthy immune system.