The Bullwinkle Show (TV Series)

Boris Badenov and His Friends?/Bars of Steal, or The Hard Cell (1961)

William Conrad: Narrator, Three-Finger

Quotes 

• Three-Finger : Okay, Babyface, open the valise!

  Boris Badenov : Look, let's split the swag right down the middle, huh? Even steven, 80/20.

  Narrator : But when Boris opened the satchel, the thugs seemed disappointed in the contents.

  Spike : You can have my share, Babyface.

  Boris Badenov : I can?

  Spike : Sure. What's one sock more or less?

  Boris Badenov : A sock?

  Narrator : Sure enough, all there was inside the valise were three pairs of socks.

  Boris Badenov : Some no-good no-good has switched suitcases on me!

  Three-Finger : But who?

  Boris Badenov : Who else? Them!

  Three-Finger : Them who?

  Boris Badenov : Those them who...

  [notices Rocky and Bullwinkle missing] 

  Boris Badenov : Who... Who... Oh, boy! They're gone!

• Rocket J. Squirrel : So we thought you might keep this money in a nice safe cell.

  Sheriff : Sorry, boys. I can't arrest a satchel full of money. I just arrest people.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah.

  Sheriff : Of course, I could arrest one of you and if you just happened to have a satchel with you...

  Rocket J. Squirrel : Swell! Go ahead.

  Sheriff : No. First you have to do something wrong.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Wrong? Sir, you are speaking of a couple of genuine TV-type heroes.

  Sheriff : Can't do anything wrong, eh?

  Rocket J. Squirrel : It's in our contract.

  Narrator : But at that moment, the handle of the worrisome suitcase broke and it fell on Bullwinkle's foot.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : OOOWWW!

  Sheriff : That does it!

  Narrator : And in the twinkling, Bullwinkle found himself and the money safely behind bars in a basement cell.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : How come? How come?

  Sheriff : Disturbing the peace.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Whose?

  Sheriff : Mine.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Oh.