The Cinema Snob (TV Series)

The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2016)

Brad Jones: Cinema Snob

Quotes 

• Cinema Snob : Goofy Toofie, buy a fucking belt!

• Milky Marvin : My megaphone, please.

  Waitress : I think you mean your moo-gaphone.

  Cinema Snob : No, I mean the megaphone. That's just stupid what you said.

• [first lines] 

  Cinema Snob : Well, I'm just gonna say right off the bat... that I don't think this movie was made for me.

• Goobie : Welcome to our movie.

  Cinema Snob : I'm not here by choice!

• Rosalie Rosebud : My jet won't be able to take off with a balloon wrapped around its tail.

  Cinema Snob : Yes, it can.

• Cinema Snob : They just got all the balloons. I think their adventure is over... unless, something terrible happens.

  [imitating Oogielives] 

  Cinema Snob : n'yoh, no, deese are da wrong balloons.

  [as himself] 

  Cinema Snob : AH, GOD DAMN IT!

• Toofie : J. Edgar never lets us have such big milkshakes.

  Cinema Snob : Well now they're just stealing lines from Boardwalk Empire.

• Cinema Snob : The Oogieloves are made up of Goobie, who likes scientific things.

  Goobie : And pickles.

  Cinema Snob : Pickles, huh? Well given that you look like one, I'm guessing you're a cannibal.

• Cinema Snob : It's their pillow Schloofy's birthday - that's a sentence I just said - and he seems to be suffering from some form of sleep paralysis.

  [Schloofy coughs up feathers] 

  Cinema Snob : What the fuck? Did he just puke out his own intestines? That's horrifying!

• Toofie : Schloofy's birthday surprise party!

  Goobie , Zoozie : Shh!

  Cinema Snob : Spoilers, much?

• Cinema Snob : Their Hoover vacuum is returning with the party balloons, and his name is, no joke, J. Edgar. Get it? Hoover? J. Edgar? Kids LOVE old FBI references.

• Windy Window : All you have to do is ask: 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, Windy Window, what do you see?

  Cinema Snob : Asking that implies that I give a shit about the answer.

• Cinema Snob : In any other movie, I'd expect them all to start fucking by now.

• Zoozie : She said Bobbly Wobbly went out for a wobble.

  Cinema Snob : A wobble is when you see how many weeble-wobbles you can shove up your ass before you feel like you have to sit down.

• Cinema Snob : Hey, kids, you lose something and a stranger driving a truck has it? Talk to them.

  Zoozie : [communicating with a bird]  Squawk! Squawk-a-doo. Squak-a-dee.

  Cinema Snob : And act like a fucking idiot when you do it too.

• Cinema Snob : And then after a child saw this, a crack-head later flashed them, to which they responded to him by saying "Goofie Toofie, pick up your pants." And then they died.