- [after hearing Wally has inherited a medieval castle]
- Stephanie (Steffy): [to Wally] Maybe now you can pay back the hamburger money you owe us.
- Mr. Socrates: Please see who is at the door.
- [Wally opens the door and finds Elvis scratching]
- Mr. Socrates: That dog... I told you never... I said... ee... Ah-choo!
- Stephanie (Steffy): What's a kith?
- Wally: A kith is one of those plaid skirts a Scotsman wears instead of pants.
- Stephanie (Steffy): Wally, those are kilts.
- Wally: Huh? Oh, well, I was close.
- [Butch and Wally find Merilee and Steffy after they've fainted]
- Butch Cassidy: Merilee, are you all right?
- Merilee: I, uh... I guess so.
- Wally: Steffy, wake up!
- Stephanie (Steffy): [wakes up] Yeow! A mouse!
- Butch Cassidy: A what?
- Merilee: And a headless woman, too!
- Butch Cassidy: Nonsense.
- Wally: What'd she look like?
- Stephanie (Steffy): She didn't look like anything. She didn't have a head, you chowderhead!
- Sir Harry Blaggett: Sir Harry Blaggett, Mr. Cassidy. Greetings.
- Butch Cassidy: A pleasure, Sir Harry.
- Sir Harry Blaggett: Wallace McDiveres, I presume?
- Wally: Yes, sir.
- Sir Harry Blaggett: I was solicitor to your uncle and I am presently executor of the estate.
- Sir Harry Blaggett: Aye, there it is. McDiveres Castle. What do you think of it?
- Wally: Well, it's not exactly my idea of a cozy little cottage.
- Stephanie (Steffy): What's an aberration?
- Wally: It's when a ghost has his appendix taken out! Ha ha ha!