- Lori (segment "The Date"): Who sent you? Why did you kill Katie? Talk!
- Matt: Do you really think I'm gonna tell you anything?
- Spencer: Um, are you gonna finish our card reading?
- Ophelia (segment "Pen" "El Cucuy"): Of course I am! Back inside pendeja!
- Holly (segment "Mirror"): Hey, I'm seriously hungry, and I would really love some tacos. Can we just hurry this up, please?
- Ashley: Why is she here again?
- Guy (segment "The Date"): Ladies, ladies, I'm not even going to begin to say that I know what's going on... because I don't care. But how about we all sit down, we'll open a bottle of wine, and you can talk or whatever.
- Katie (segment "The Date"): This date has turned into a disaster!
- Ashley: What happened?
- Katie (segment "The Date"): Well, I almost got garlic poisoned! The dumbass put garlic on our pizza!
- Ashley: Well, did you change in public?
- Katie (segment "The Date"): No, almost.
- Misty: No, I helped you do the spell, but I'm not helping you stalk him. I've already bailed you out of jail once. You need to get over him!
- Holly (segment "Mirror"): Yeah, Spencer, this is weird enough as it is. Then you have us hanging out with Ursula over here, kick this wicked bitch out of your house!
- Ashley: No, you two need to go! We don't even need you anymore!
- Misty: You need to get away from her. She's using you just like Carter did.
- Spencer: I'm sorry guys, she's not going anywhere.
- Misty: Fine, I helped out, I'm done. Have a nice life.
- Holly (segment "Mirror"): Screw you, Celine! You frizzy haired bitch!
- Holly (segment "Mirror"): You know, I was actually at that place last week. Did you happen to see a lady reading cards, old, ominous, kind of crazy looking?
- Chloe (Segment "Mirror"): What exactly were you doing over there at that store? That's not exactly your side of town, Holly.
- Holly (segment "Mirror"): I was helping Spencer with boy problems.
- Chloe (Segment "Mirror"), Vanessa (segment "Mirror"): Casting spells again!
- Holly (segment "Mirror"): Oh, no, shut up!
- Matt: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry, you're not just doing this because you feel bad for me, right?
- Katie (segment "The Date"): Maybe.
- Matt: Well, I'm cool with that.
- Lori (segment "The Date"): Hi. Nice suit.
- Guy (segment "The Date"): It's Armani, the finest Italian fabrics.
- Lori (segment "The Date"): And nice tie.
- Guy (segment "The Date"): Chiffon silk. I like a girl who appreciates the finer things.
- Lori (segment "The Date"): Well, I have impeccable taste.
- Guy (segment "The Date"): Obviously, so what's your name?
- Lori (segment "The Date"): Lori, and yours?
- Guy (segment "The Date"): Guy, I'm the guy.