Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis (TV Series)

Hillary Clinton (2016)

Hillary Clinton: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Zach Galifianakis - Host : What's the number one focus of your presidency?

  Hillary Clinton : Oh, it has to be the economy, we need more good jobs with rising incomes, we've got to make the economy work for everybody, not just those at the top.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [interrupts her]  We need to take a break, we need to have a word from our sponsor.

  Donald Trump : [Donald Trump commercial]  Washington is broken, the truth is too many politicians are controlled by too many special interest groups and lobbyists, we're going to make America great again, I'm Donald Trump and I approve this message.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [shrugs, to Hillary]  He "approves" the message.

  Hillary Clinton : Why would you play a commercial from my opponent in the middle of our interview?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : He paid me in steaks.

  Hillary Clinton : I'd be afraid to eat them if I were you.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : It's a good cut of meat, I think it's a part of the asshole, well this has been a lot of fun Mrs. Clinton, we should stay in touch, what's the best way to reach you? Email?

• Hillary Clinton : [after secret service tackled Zach when he tried to sneak up behind Hillary wearing a Halloween mask]  That wasn't a good idea, are you ok?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [to the camera]  Hi, welcome to another edition of "Between Two Ferns", I'm your host Zach Galifianakis, my guest today is Hillary Clinton.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [to Hillary]  Thank you for being here, some critics have questioned your decision making recently and by you appearing on this the show I hope it lays some of those to rest.

  Hillary Clinton : I think it absolutely proves our case, don't you?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Are you excited to be the first "girl" president?

  Hillary Clinton : Well, being president would be such an extraordinary honor and responsibility and being the first "woman" elected president and what that would mean for our country, not just for little girls but little boys too, that's pretty special in itself.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Not to take away the historic significance you perhaps becoming the first female president but for a younger "younger" generation you will also become their first "white" president and that's pretty neat too.

  Hillary Clinton : [remains silent] 

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : As "secretary", how many words per minute can you type? And how does President Obama like his coffee? Like himself, weak?

  Hillary Clinton : Those are really out of date questions, you need to get out more.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : What happens if you become pregnant? How would that work?

  Hillary Clinton : I could send you some pamphlets that might help you understand.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [interrupts her]  First you supported Obama's Trans Pacific Partnership deal and then you were against it and I think people deserve to know, are you "down" with TPP?

  Hillary Clinton : I'm not "down" with TPP.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : No, you're supposed to say "yeah you know me."

  Hillary Clinton : [annoyed] 

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Like the hip hop group.

  Hillary Clinton : [interrupts him]  Don't tell me what to say.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Fine, lose so the country will go to shit.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Let's talk about Trump.

  Hillary Clinton : Oh, let's.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : When you see how well it works for Donald Trump, do you say to yourself "oh maybe I should be more racist."

  Hillary Clinton : [smiles, shaking her head, remains silent] 

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : When he's elected President and Kid Rock become Secretary of State, are you going to move to Canada? Or one of the Artic Circles?

  Hillary Clinton : I would stay in the United States.

• Zach Galifianakis - Host : And then what?

  Hillary Clinton : [interrupts him]  And prevent him from destroying the United States.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : So, you're going to lead the "civil war"?

  Hillary Clinton : No, I wouldn't take up arms I think that might be a little extreme.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Oh right because you said before we were filming you'd take away everyone's guns, that's very cool.

  Hillary Clinton : [referring to their interview]  I really regret doing this.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Any regrets over losing the Scott Baio vote?

  Hillary Clinton : Not one.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : So it wasn't heart breaking?

  Hillary Clinton : No.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Yeah but he played "Chachi", who's going to be next? Max Headroom? I'd love to meet the person who makes your pant suits.

  Hillary Clinton : Oh really?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Yeah but as Halloween I wanted to be a librarian from outer space.

  Hillary Clinton : [amused]  I think that'd be a good look on you.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Have you thought about what you'd be wearing at the debates?

  Hillary Clinton : There's this thing called the "double standard" and so I think about what should the first woman nominee of one of our two parties should wear to the debate, I have no idea but if you have suggestions I'm open to them.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Do you wonder what your opponent might be wearing?

  Hillary Clinton : I assume he'll wear that red power tie.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Or maybe like a "white power" tie?

  Hillary Clinton : [nodding]  I think that's even more appropriate.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : When you went to Donald Trump's wedding did he write his own vows? And did Michelle Obama write Melania's?

  Hillary Clinton : I really couldn't see or hear very well so I'm not quite sure what his vows were but I'm sure his vows were "great, huge and wonderful."

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Like his bowels.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : Your daughter Chelsea and Trump's daughter Ivanka are friends, does Ivanka ever call Chelsea to talk about boys that might have crushes on her?

  Hillary Clinton : I don't think so.