- Beverly Goldberg: [Subbing for French Class] Bonjour, my little French fries. By the time we're done, you're going to eat snails, not take baths and enjoy the silent art of mime.
- Mr. Mellor: There's no climbing in school, unless it's on a rope hanging dangeroulsly from the rafters of the gym.
- Beverly Goldberg: The atomic symbol C stands for what?
- Barry Goldberg: Chemistry.
- Beverly Goldberg: Carbon! It stands for carbon.
- Barry Goldberg: But it also stands for chemistry, so half a point.
- Erica Goldberg: Hands off the dork!
- Johnny Atkins: Or what?
- Erica Goldberg: I sit behind you in Spanish class. Next siesta you take, snip-snip, off goes the ponytail.
- Johnny Atkins: But that's where my soul resides.