The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Collaboration Contamination (2017)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Thanks for letting me put Halley in your room.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, no problem.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, and Penny, she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, that's okay.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey. Tha... that's an Ewok, and it's mine.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, which is why it's okay.
Sheldon Cooper : See? He gets Ewoks in his bed.
Amy Farrah Fowler : You've got Chewbacca. That's enough.
Raj Koothrappali : I used to have the stuffed racoon from "Guardians of the Galaxy", but Cinammon licked it raw.
Howard Wolowitz : There's a time and place for your randy dog stories, and... it's never and nowhere.
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Penny Hofstadter : No more stories about sex, so, Amy, that brings us to you.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, at work, we've been doing some interesting work with neuroprosthetics.
Penny Hofstadter : Neat. I've been re-watching "The O.C.", so we're all leading productive lives.
Amy Farrah Fowler : We've been working on a computer interface that can use brainwave patterns to control robotic limbs, but we're having a little trouble localizing the signal from the EEG cap.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, well, have you thought about adding a phased array of sensors for better localization?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Actually, that never occurred to me.
Penny Hofstadter : It never occurred to me I would miss the Ewok conversation.
Leonard Hofstadter : Good, 'cause I just bought another one on Amazon.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Hey. What you reading?
Penny Hofstadter : A parenting book.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, my god. Are... are we...?
Penny Hofstadter : What? No! You think this is how I would tell you?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well...
[he stammers]
Leonard Hofstadter : ...you're sitting there with a book. It felt like anything was possible.
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Sheldon Cooper : Remember how disappointed you were when Amy started driving me to work?
Leonard Hofstadter : [sarcastic] Sure. Sometimes people smile a big smile of disappointment.
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, well, good news. Amy had to go in early to show Howard around her lab, so you get to drive me.
Penny Hofstadter : [Leonard's face falls] Aw, his smile of disappointment has turned into a frown of joy.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's fine. I've been driving him for years. What's one more day?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, and I've got a new car game we can play. It's called "What Siren Am I?".
Leonard Hofstadter : Kill me.
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Leonard Hofstadter : So... Howard and Amy working together. That's interesting, huh?
Sheldon Cooper : Eh. It's all right, I suppose. Usually when Amy complains about her coworkers, I just tune her out, but now I'll be able to join in and pound away.
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Penny Hofstadter : Okay, what is going on?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, ever since Amy started working with Howard, she hasn't been home.
Penny Hofstadter : Didn't that just start this morning?
Sheldon Cooper : And has she been home?
Penny Hofstadter : You know, that would frustrate me. Does it frustrate you?
Sheldon Cooper : I-it does.
Penny Hofstadter : I get that. You know, it's okay to feel frustrated when things aren't going your way.
Sheldon Cooper : I suppose. Ah, maybe it's not that big a deal.
Penny Hofstadter : No. No, no. Your feelings are valid. Now, why don't you go wash up and we'll call you when dinner's ready.
Sheldon Cooper : Okay.
Leonard Hofstadter : [Sheldon leaves] What did you do... are you a witch?
Penny Hofstadter : No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's amazing.
Penny Hofstadter : I know. But, you know, it's only birth to five. What do we do when he turns six?
Leonard Hofstadter : Take him to the zoo and leave him there.
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Penny Hofstadter : You sound frustrated, and I'm really proud of the way you're able to state your opinion.
Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you.
[realizing what she's doing]
Leonard Hofstadter : Wait, no, no! Don't use that book on me.
Sheldon Cooper : Wait, what book?
Leonard Hofstadter : Penny's been using one of Bernadette's parenting books on you.
Penny Hofstadter : What? So has he.
Sheldon Cooper : Wh... what makes you think you can treat me like a child?
Leonard Hofstadter : Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
Sheldon Cooper : That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes!
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Penny Hofstadter : So is this how it's gonna be if we have kids? You're just gonna throw me under the bus?
Leonard Hofstadter : If you spoil them the way you do Sheldon, then yeah.
Penny Hofstadter : Uh, my way was working, okay? I think you're just upset because there are some things I am better than you at.
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, you can't end a sentence with a preposition, so clearly not grammar.
Penny Hofstadter : If you're so smart, was that a smart thing to say?
Leonard Hofstadter : That depends. Before I said it, was sex tonight still on the table?
Penny Hofstadter : No.
Leonard Hofstadter : Then it's fine.
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Penny Hofstadter : [reading a book on parenting] Bernadette left it here.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah? Anything interesting?
Penny Hofstadter : Well, I just saw a picture of a baby's head crowning, so I hope you enjoyed sex, because we're done with that.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [wearily playing Sheldon's car game] I don't know. French police?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, so close. Belgian ambulance. All, right you ready for your next one? Just a warning, this one's a little annoying.
Leonard Hofstadter : Let's take a little... little break. I'm getting a headache.
Sheldon Cooper : Aw. Right in the middle of our fun game.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, weird.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon's texting me to drive him to Bernadette's.
Penny Hofstadter : Well, what are you gonna say?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, they did just introduce the middle finger emoji. If it's not for this, I don't know what it's for.
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Penny Hofstadter : Maybe there's something in the book that will help.
Leonard Hofstadter : Worth a shot.
Penny Hofstadter : Okay. Let's see, let's see... biting other children?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, sometimes, but... problem for another day.
Penny Hofstadter : Okay, wait, wait. Here we go. "Let him have ownership of his choices. Allow him to choose from options that are acceptable to you."
Leonard Hofstadter : All, right I'll give it a try. "I can drive you in two hours or you can take an Uber."
Penny Hofstadter : Good. See, now he feels like he has a choice.
Leonard Hofstadter : [his phone chimes] He's gonna take an Uber.
Penny Hofstadter : Wow, it worked.
Leonard Hofstadter : [taking the book] Unless he bites the driver, yeah.
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Sheldon Cooper : The only kind of engineer I'm interested in blows a train whistle. Ooh, that gives me an idea for a new road game. What kind of whistle am I?
Leonard Hofstadter : Train.
Sheldon Cooper : Actually, it was going to be a kea kettle, but it was on a train, so I'll give it to you.
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Sheldon Cooper : Where do you get treating me like a child?
Leonard Hofstadter : Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
Sheldon Cooper : That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes!
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[first lines]
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Thanks for letting me put Halley in your room.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, no problem.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, and, Penny, she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, that's okay.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey. Tha-That's an Ewok and it's mine.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, which is why it's okay.
Sheldon Cooper : [to Amy] See, he gets Ewoks in his bed.
Amy Farrah Fowler : You've got Chewbacca, that's enough.
Raj Koothrappali : I used to have the stuffed raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, but Cinnamon licked it raw.
Howard Wolowitz : There's a time and place for your randy dog stories, and... it's "never and nowhere".