- Bernadette Rostenkowski: It's just that work's been crazy, and the minute I get home, I have two kids hanging on me, and sometimes I don't want babies pulling my hair and pinching my belly fat.
- Penny Hofstadter: That'd be a good slogan for a condom company.
- Howard Wolowitz: You're not even considering mine? Why, because they're PhDs and I'm just an engineer?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, because they wrote detailed proposals, and you sent a YouTube clip of the guy from Jerry Maguire saying, "Show me the money!"
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon's kind of like a dog. He doesn't really think about me when I'm gone, but he's so happy when I show up.
- President Siebert: If I didn't think you were up to the task, you wouldn't have been 5th on my list.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What would you do?
- President Siebert: I'd find some sap and put him in charge so I wouldn't have to be the bad guy.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That's a really good ide... oh.