The Good Place (TV Series)
Dance Dance Resolution (2017)
Kristen Bell: Eleanor Shellstrop
Photos
Quotes
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Eleanor Shellstrop : This is the Bad Place. I forking knew it! And clam chowder is disgusting. It's just hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons.
Chidi Anagonye : What-what do we do? Panic? Freak? I usually panic, but I am happy to freak.
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Eleanor Shellstrop : I've only ever said "I love you" to two men my entire life. Stone Cold Steve Austin, and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin. I mean, why would you show me that?
Mindy St. Claire : I don't know. You guys are, like, trapped here together. I feel bad. You know, I'm rooting for you guys.
Eleanor Shellstrop : No, there is no "us guys". We basically just met each other.
Mindy St. Claire : No, Eleanor. You guys have known each other a really long time. Also, it doesn't matter if I told you that or not, because when Michael finds out he's failed again, he'll just reboot you.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Chidi, Janet, we're leaving!
[taking the tape from the VCR]
Eleanor Shellstrop : I am taking this with me.
Mindy St. Claire : [sarcastic] Oh, no. It's my only copy. Don't.
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Eleanor Shellstrop : How many times have Chidi and I slept together?
Mindy St. Claire : Eight different days, but, like, twenty different sessions.
Eleanor Shellstrop : And how many times did we say... that stuff?
Mindy St. Claire : Oh, only once. Oh, God, I hated it. It, like, really killed the vibe for me. See, after I watched the porno I made starring you, I watched you talk about your feelings to cool down. It's like anti-porn.
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Eleanor Shellstrop : I know it says here that we already tried throwing Tahani under the bus, but maybe we should revisit that. Throw her a little harder. Maybe under a bigger bus. What do you think?
Chidi Anagonye : I think this is pointless. We're trapped in a warped version of Nietzsche's eternal recurrence.
Eleanor Shellstrop : [sarcastic] Oh, cool! More philosphy! That'll help us.
Chidi Anagonye : Well, don't you see the problem? We are experiencing karma, but we can't learn from our mistakes because our memories keep getting erased. It's an epistomological nightmare.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Ugh! Even your nightmares are boring.
Chidi Anagonye : You are so mean, Eleanor. You're just like those childhood bullies who said I would never get tenure.
Eleanor Shellstrop : And you are so irritating! In one of these reboots, I probably strangled you and then went to the Even Worse Place. But you know what? I bet it was worth it.
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Eleanor Shellstrop : We have to stay cool. As my mom always used to say, if a cop handcuffs you to a bike rack, there's always something you can gnaw through.
Chidi Anagonye : Your mom always said that?
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Eleanor Shellstrop : Hey, robot slave lady? Busty Alexa? Oh, Janet?
Janet : [appearing] Hi, there.
Eleanor Shellstrop : [gasping in surprise] Still not used to it.
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Chidi Anagonye : So, Aristotle believes your character is voluntary, because... uh, are you ignoring me right now? It's day two of our ethics lessons, and you're already tuning out?
Eleanor Shellstrop : No, sorry. I just got distracted for a second. The last thing I remember you saying is... nothing. Can you start from the beginning?
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Eleanor Shellstrop : Your sick torture plan is not working, okay? 'Cause we keep figuring out your little puzzle. We're winning, which means you're losing. So you have two choices here, buddy: keep failing over and over or realize we're actually the ones with all the power here.
Michael : Yeah, no, uh... We're on the same page.
Eleanor Shellstrop : What?
Michael : I want to team up with you guys.
Eleanor Shellstrop : What? Why? You do? What?
